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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Caste into shadows as a mere baby

Why did they do it?

I jump up in bed gaze about

The other children sleep

While I ponder my escape

I can no longer stay

Watch other kids leave with smiles

While I stay in my corner a doll in hand

I waited long enough I must go

I dream one day I will have a family

But first I must find my past

Posted

I'm glad you're writing poetry, and not only chatting. You have a strong 'voice'. Your first poems seemed hesitant, like a singer warming up. With this poem, you're definitely hitting your stride. I see a great deal of improvement.

 

Tight poem, doesn't wander. All the lines lead to the point of the poem, the loneliness of being the outsider, (You'll find MANY people here who can relate to THAT feeling (welcome, :Phugs)) without getting overly dramatic or graphic. Really frees the reader to engage their imagination, and involve themself in the poem.

 

Good job.

 

-Peredhil

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