DoomGaze Posted February 19, 2003 Report Posted February 19, 2003 (edited) The Contract of the Soul ----------------------------- I stand here wondering If I'll ever be okay. He came along with these papers, Just to sign, no cost to pay. He offered me everything, And I recieved nothing more, Than a cold, dead body Lying on the floor. I wish I could take back, That one little day, Where he came along in my life, And took something precious of mine away. I have no longer the will to survive, This life, just crying. Feels like so many daggers have stabbed me, Kill me now, I feel like dying. He will never come back, With more papers to sign, Because I remember those frightful words, "Your soul is now mine." Edited February 19, 2003 by DoomGaze
Tasslehoff Posted February 19, 2003 Report Posted February 19, 2003 Hey Doom. That was great!! Bravo Buddy! Can I make one suggestion? Change he to she...
DoomGaze Posted February 19, 2003 Author Report Posted February 19, 2003 HaHa very funny Tass, but i'm not changing it. I'm keeping it as is. But thx for the suggestion anyway
HopperWolf Posted February 19, 2003 Report Posted February 19, 2003 striking desperation. especially with this music I am listening to... Anyhow, I like the use of language: mixing the metaphysical ideas with the ordinary, everday realities: "He came along with these papers" for example
Elvida Posted February 21, 2003 Report Posted February 21, 2003 Tass....she?Nice poem Doom....very...interesting!!!i like it.
Justin Silverblade Posted February 22, 2003 Report Posted February 22, 2003 Some good stuff DoomGaze, thanks. - Justin
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