Cyril Darkcloud Posted February 17, 2003 Report Posted February 17, 2003 Goodbye Powerful is the opening wide of the eyes in finding and discovery’s bending of the hard lines of the face in spontaneous smile. The wonder of finding seeks the prolonged embrace, the shared warmth, of the mutual holding of seeker and treasure in possession of what together has been unearthed. Only when the swollen eyes of wonder learn the narrow gaze of care may they see that although seeking's exhaled desire may rightly be inhaled as love, the words this breathing utters sometimes obscure the whisper of that cleaner air within whose winds might be the breath of separating goodbye by which the treasure may come to find herself.
Archaneus Posted February 17, 2003 Report Posted February 17, 2003 (edited) Once again I am amazed at your ability to catch one idea, one moment perfectly and so elaborately. You are a true poet. I feel threatened. Lol. Edited February 17, 2003 by Archaneus
Mira Posted February 17, 2003 Report Posted February 17, 2003 (edited) I like the poem, but what I realy like is how you show all of your editing in the W.W. I think it's neat to see your thoughts while changing a few ideas into a work such as this. I usualy do all my editing on paper, but I really apriciate you posting all of yours. Edited February 17, 2003 by Mira
Rune Posted March 11, 2003 Report Posted March 11, 2003 Amazing..as always Cyril *hugs* For those of you interested in seeing the development of the poem, please visit this link. Be aware that you must be a member of the pen to view this topic.
Peredhil Posted March 11, 2003 Report Posted March 11, 2003 I agree. The finished product is great and I hope you bask in my admiration... but seeing how another poet thinking and revises helps me to grow too - and that's even better. Thank you once again.
Recommended Posts