Nyyark Posted February 15, 2003 Report Posted February 15, 2003 Everywhere around me there is darkness. Have we turned from the sunlight forever? Only the elderly remember it And they have not seen, only heard we once did. The problems now are as old as the race: Greed, Injustice, Hate, The Lust for Power These all have, as their collective unit: Money, giving value to everything Like a warped grid for social placement. Why would the oppressed choose to remain so? What is money but imagination? I find the same when concerning power. Power results from the choice of subjection My Sun set when money became power. All that money was ever meant to do Was to tell how much meat was worth a coat Money should not give a human value. If everything has a limited worth. Then everything can be calculated. Love stops the process of calculation So they who love will fail and be worthless They who love will fail, and love is worthless. In that lies darkness, welcome to the Night. A man once decided: “I think therefore I am” And from that was spawned a tangible world. From pursuit tangible came love material And in that way was the Sun eclipsed It seems a losing prospect to resist, As all solutions give the same answer. Is then is not the equation at fault. If traditional rationality Leads to material values and thought How then should using it lead otherwise? Maybe there is another way to try, Maybe change is not a requirement. It must be self values that define worth. Where are the powerful without money? And, without belief, what of the money. Well there is one way to quit, That’s to stop. You must give up all worth material, My money is not how much I’m valued My possessions are not what I am worth I am only my thoughts and performance. Those that are still trapped might not value me But I know I’m more than green inked paper. It’s not the night when you look at the sun It’s only dark wearing dark glasses Take the shades off and let the eyes see free And perhaps now we can see our sunrise.
Archaneus Posted February 16, 2003 Report Posted February 16, 2003 I like the way you compared bad times in the world with sunless times. You used it well. Good job.
Zariah Posted February 16, 2003 Report Posted February 16, 2003 (edited) I enjoy your techniques and style of writing Question- Where is the segway from money/ power to love? I fell a bit lost with this "connection" of calculation and worth. I like the closing. Overall I think that you should stick with one aspect and then branch it out with your views instead of trying to tie a bunch of them together. Excellent ideas and great techniques! Edited February 16, 2003 by crowgirl1126
Gyrfalcon Posted February 17, 2003 Report Posted February 17, 2003 First- excellent work, Nyyark. It's a good monologue, and I can see someone striding back and forth on a stage declaiming it, gesturing grandly. crowgirl- A note: the word you were looking for is 'segue', which does mean 'To move smoothly and unhesitatingly from one state, condition, situation, or element to another'. The Segway is a motorized scooter for all intents and purposes, though the name is based off of 'segue'.
Vincent Silver Posted February 17, 2003 Report Posted February 17, 2003 Very well writen...wish I could say more beacuse it dersvers more,but all I can say is very well writen.
Zariah Posted February 19, 2003 Report Posted February 19, 2003 wow okay I feel stupid. Thanks for the clarification.
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