Cyril Darkcloud Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 Crying there was in the streets that day that day the pennants came that bore the sign of a shining heart Crying there was in the streets that day that day the swords came that caught the light of the morning sun Crying there was in the streets that day that day the knights came with pennants and swords and struck us down under the light of the morning sun in the name of the sign of a shining heart.
Archaneus Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 Wow. I like the way the first and second stanzas are incorporated into the third. I t kind of reminds me of Dr Seuss and that is a good thing. I like this a lot expecially since I always like things having to do with war and stuff like that. Good job.
HopperWolf Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 Chilling. I like it. was there any specific event or "conflict" you were thinking of?
Peredhil Posted February 15, 2003 Report Posted February 15, 2003 That was really well done. The first two stanzas build to the resolution of the third, which satisfies it. Plus, it's just a darned good read.
Rune Posted February 25, 2003 Report Posted February 25, 2003 Interesting that the first two create an illusion of war from the winning side's point of view, then the last tears apart that illusion when it reveals that in truth the one reading the poem is the one on the losing end.
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