Wyvern Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 Twin obelisks of innocence lost Stars in a silent sky mourn not the cross Of crowned emperor sitting upon barren throne Allegiences fought for causes unknown Playing cards dealt with abundance of Aces Unknown revenge's illusory places Not in the heart, but the grip of the stone First cast upon witches, later bemoaned When amiable soul first cast off the chains Belittling body and mind Those embracing freewill questioned all that they feeled Have we left those brave thoughts behind? The bright streak of dawn cares not for the rags Of colors abundant, of momentous crags In emotional outbursts from cannon's cold tune Forming rivers of red like roses in bloom. New impact craters from comets of fire Martyring many and flaming desires Ask not the Earth of its shattering hopes Dreams broken and severed, redemption revoked When common cause faultered and riots ensued Over barbarous actions and fate Leaders stopped their commands in civilized stands Must we kill over what we create? Twin obelisks of unparalleled angst Crumbeling emblems of modern day Must you fuel our dejection? Must you sever our ranks? Or will the west wind blow you away...?
Cerulean Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 I liked the momentum of this, it was driven. Thanks Wyv *hug* C.
Cyril Darkcloud Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 Still they stand, these things we’ve built from the broken stones of collapsed ideals, witnesses of weathered rock and wind tossed dust to the folly that lingers after the crumbling of trust. A skillful and consistent use of meter and sound and an evocative progression of images -- a very nice piece of writing.
Archaneus Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 I really enjoyed this one Wyv. Thanks for posting.
Mira Posted February 15, 2003 Report Posted February 15, 2003 It's never too late to say what you think, in fact it might be just in time.
Brute Posted February 19, 2003 Report Posted February 19, 2003 forgive me for the brevity of my praise, but...incredible, Wyvern!
Brute Posted February 19, 2003 Report Posted February 19, 2003 ok.. brevity aside.. here's my interpretation as I mentioned in irc. The stones seem to symbolize striife and anger that is found throughout all of humanity. That they exist for almost eternity endlessly opposed to one another seems to show that such vulgarities are also ever- present within us. Wisdom from the bottom of the bottle, mind you.
DoomGaze Posted February 19, 2003 Report Posted February 19, 2003 WoW im amazed.. beautifully written, certainly one of the best i've seen so far.
Nyyark Posted February 28, 2003 Report Posted February 28, 2003 I'm so glad you clued me in on this. It is excellently written! I think I understand some of the meaning, but by the fact you used imagry to convey it, I completly understood emotion. Brilliantly crafted in form, message, and emotion. Absolutly great job! Thank you for sharing.
Peredhil Posted February 28, 2003 Report Posted February 28, 2003 I'm glad this bumped to the top. Stands really well without me doing interior analysis. From this poem I take away a view of the World Trade Center Towers in ruins - and the media acting like a puppet for the government, whipping public opinion into a frenzy so that the symbols of disaster can fuel the war machine. But then, I'm prolly reading into it too much. I've been accused of that! -P
The Big Pointy One Posted February 28, 2003 Report Posted February 28, 2003 Heh, I've never been to good at reading into things, but I *do* know a good poem when I see one, and this is definitely great. Extremely well written, great form and flow... excellent. ^.^
Recommended Posts