Vlad Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 Take me away, From these people. Let me free, From this place. Release my soul, To wreak havoc- Upon the realm, Infinity rocks past. I watch you barrel, By and by life spins, As of now it seems, Not only I am pained.
Scarlett O'Harpy Posted February 14, 2003 Report Posted February 14, 2003 Infinity rocks past I love that line, that image, Thanks for posting, Harpy.
Zariah Posted February 16, 2003 Report Posted February 16, 2003 My favorite stanza is the last: " I watch you barrel, By and by life spins, As of now it seems, Not only I am pained. " I think this could be added to.... Perhaps a new stanza that describes what esle you are other than pained. (Just a suggestion?) You have a creative way of phraseology.
Rune Posted February 25, 2003 Report Posted February 25, 2003 I agree, Infinity rocks past is a strong statement. It holds it own well in this poem. Took me a couple of reads to really understand the meaning. Not sure if i have it, but I think I do. I connected in a way that's kind of hard to explain. Thanks for sharing.
Vlad Posted February 25, 2003 Author Report Posted February 25, 2003 I wanted the poem to end in a jolt, and i guess I underestimated the infinity statement... I had just got done doing math homework, I guess... lol.
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