Archaneus Posted February 12, 2003 Report Posted February 12, 2003 I wrote this one the other day while I was bored in class with nothing left to do and 10 minutes till the end of school. It sounds a lot like another one I wrote, I think. Not sure if I posted the other one though. I am pleased with it, for a change. Haha. Anyway... I know what I imagine it about, but everyone has their own interpretation, so tell me what you think of it as describing. I sit here and ponder Everything and nothing All at the same time These things swirling In my mind there is no difference I can’t see space, time Everything is a blur I wander through the coils of my mind They threaten to trap me That ever present feeling Being held back from my doom Why can’t I break free? How can I break free? I fall deeper into the recesses I am ever lost I ask myself can I escape? I hear around me an inner voice “There is no escape, no release” I slowly edge my hand It touches cold steel and I draw back Taking the dagger in my hand I put the dagger to my chest As I drive it in, I think, “I am free”
HopperWolf Posted February 12, 2003 Report Posted February 12, 2003 (edited) I see regret over things done and a hopelessness, no reconciliation available. It's hard to move on with a life of imperfection, stripped of a certain niavety that can never be regained. The temptation to end it instead, because you can't face the truths you have discovered about yourself or the world, can be great. Or, the last ten minutes of school can last FOREVER Edited February 12, 2003 by HopperWolf
Peredhil Posted February 12, 2003 Report Posted February 12, 2003 Heh, the first part sounds like a description of my thinking most of the time. The resulting action and method of dealing with it differs however. Very vivid writing - you should write more. AS a suggestion, don't tell us what YOU think of the work. So far, you've judged yourself far more harshly than I would've every single time. Let us be the mirrors of feedback for your work. Accept the feedback, correct, and grow... you have a definite talent. -Peredhil
Rune Posted February 21, 2003 Report Posted February 21, 2003 Up until this point I thought you ment school and the cold steel being the notebook binder. ^__^ *chuckles* I sit here and ponder Everything and nothing All at the same time These things swirling In my mind there is no difference I can’t see space, time Everything is a blur I wander through the coils of my mind They threaten to trap me That ever present feeling Being held back from my doom Why can’t I break free? How can I break free? I fall deeper into the recesses I am ever lost I ask myself can I escape? I hear around me an inner voice “There is no escape, no release” I slowly edge my hand It touches cold steel and I draw back Great poem, Thank you for sharing.
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