Quincunx Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 Depression is one of nature's last attempts to cull us. Nature gave us weather and we thought of clothing. Nature gave us famine and we thought of agriculture. Nature gave us disease and we thought of medicine. . .Now nature has given us deceptive thoughts. Depression always ends. Always! Contrary to its message, it is inconstant, slinking away at the exercise of four smiling muscles, receding as quietly and slowly as it came, even cowering away from the lift of the spirits before suicide. The impermanent thought gives way to the permanent impulse to continue living. . .
Aardvark Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 Depression is like every mental "illness". Only in the mind. You don't need chemicals to get yourself out of it, you don't need 140 buck an hour councilling, you don't need hypnotherapy, you need to find whatever's getting you down and get over it. Accept it. Move on. Not in the "Shit happens, deal with it" way. Accept whatever the cause is as part of you and shape yourself around it. Screw conformity, become your insecurities, don't let them control you, make them part of you. Soon, you'll have nothing to be depressed about. Failing that, dope yourself up 'til the entire world looks like a land of chocolate
Peredhil Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 hmmm. Depression seems in my experience to have various shades and sources. Feeling frustrated and hopeless to effect change. Feeling angry and turning within. Or biochemical - Having been raised in a family of Manic-Depressives who were still able to function, I have seen the struggles and appreciate the difference between chemical and attitude. For a very few, depression isn't a mental choice or a perception. It's a condition of the mind, just as nearsightedness is a condition of the eyes. There is no shame admitting weak eyes any more, and getting corrective help. There should be no stigmata in admitting biochemical conditions, and getting corrective help. Lastly, there are those who need depression or trauma as an excuse or to self-flagellate. That one is a choice, although a difficult trap to escape. -Peredhil
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 It can be a complex issue. I tend to agree with Aardvark's view - though I also feel that facing chemical problems with chemical solutions fits right in with 'screwing' conformity, where appropriate. It is very individual, as individual as there are number of individuals. Everything has happened before under the sun - except your experience. This is part of the reason why your life is such a gift.
Cyril Darkcloud Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 A few thoughts stimulated by the initial post and subsequent discussion: There is more of wilderness than there is of meadow about the human heart, and within its fierce and forbidding landscapes are vistas bold with a beauty as dangerous as it is compelling. The winds of the heart change swiftly and the storms of the heart are sudden and many are the travelers who lose their way within its craggy peaks where the air is thin and the sun is bright for it is difficult to breathe in such a fickle wind and harder still to see in such a stunning light. You raise an important topic to think about, Quincunx. Thanks for doing so.
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 Oooh, VERY good poem Cyril.
Peredhil Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 Wow. Do you sometimes fear to just post ordinary stuff? You hold yourself to such a incredibly high standard of reply... I know back when I first was labelled "a good writer", I almost froze before clicking the submit button, for fear this would be the post that revealed that I was just me. Sorry - didn't mean to hijack the thread. I'm just in a pensive scattered mood.
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 Sometimes - at least twice in my life - my clarity has been focused enough to assemble such a reply given the moment presented, as Cyril has here. It is a mental position, above being a mere capability or standard - and Master P you know you are FAR more guilty of built in quality than you let on! Again, good job Cyril. You just go on shining who you are. Let others worry if your thoughts are 'up to standard' or not - that is all about them. ;p
Tasslehoff Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 Depression.. its not.. its not quick.. its not played on a board game.. Its sucks..
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 So much hinges on an illusion of powerlessness though... Give in to that and it's over. Don't, and it's not.
Blondemoon Posted February 12, 2003 Report Posted February 12, 2003 Tassle is right...depression...it just sucks...no matter what the cause, it's never, ever something to be taken lightly. it's like a struggle, every step feels like you're moving through water, you feel like you're weighted down, kinda like something (besides gravity) is pushing down on you. It's very weird.
reverie Posted February 12, 2003 Report Posted February 12, 2003 (edited) opens vault.... rev's take on depressive mood vs creativity circa 2000... ... depresive moods are hotbeds for creative writing... but the wretching of the soul thru that addictive bittersweet feeling,is not pleasant... and is hard to fight, once its get a hold of you... you try to shake it off... but it calls back to you... cause you hate the feeling but a the same time it's a true and deep penetrating feeling... one (of) the most pure... and addictive... and dangerous.... i try to avoid it nowadays... closes vault... ...side note... good poem dark eye... I wrote my 'lighta' poem in a reply to similar reaction to someone elses depression thoughts on the pen... ain't it kewl when that happens revery the dreamlost "happy, happy, joy, joy"(ren n'stippy) the dream continues... Edited February 12, 2003 by reverie
Tasslehoff Posted February 12, 2003 Report Posted February 12, 2003 I know its not supposed to be funny, but Revery.. You crack me up..
Quincunx Posted March 8, 2003 Author Report Posted March 8, 2003 After a month, I find the conclusion to my thoughts-- Depression wears down the endurance both physical and psychic, working to shorten time, as time works to extend patience and endurance. . .yet it works slowly enough to be recorded and resonated from person to person, to escape being codified solely in brain tissues that might not continue. Suicide is for the impatient!
Peredhil Posted March 8, 2003 Report Posted March 8, 2003 Impatience... Yes. I think my most dangerous times weren't the ones where I felt unloved, misunderstood, dramatic, or any of the 'reasons'. I think they were times when I'd felt so badly, for no reason, for so long, that I had no energy or desire to feel anything any more at all. Perhaps it IS an endurance race.
reverie Posted March 9, 2003 Report Posted March 9, 2003 hmm... entriging... Endurance? That prolly does have something to do with it. From my our investigation into the subject i find that no matter how tired we may get certain things tie to this world... When those thing disappear or lose their appeal, then that's cause for worry... rev...
Chanz Posted April 10, 2003 Report Posted April 10, 2003 I think depression is a way of letting you know that you are not coping with things and that you need to, or else your life will slip away. However this can be extremley hard and painful, so for some people, it IS easier to commit suicide, then to live on being depressed.
Ayshela Posted April 10, 2003 Report Posted April 10, 2003 or to live on knowing that you are unworthy of life.
HappyBuddha Posted April 10, 2003 Report Posted April 10, 2003 Depression is really hard to sum up in a few words, or apply across a broad spectrum. You really can't lay down a definition that applies to all depressed people, only say something that comes close to doing so. Believe it or not, I've known (and know) a significant number of depressed people in my life, and while some of the them I immmediatly think of when I'm reading this discussion, at other times I'll read someone's post and think "But what do you do if you're him, her? How do you escape it then?". I've met some people to whom depression is indeed hard-wired into their person, it's, as Perry put it, like nearsightedness - you have to live with it. For others, it's something that's come about because of his/her conditions, because of something that's happened or is happening. Endurance is a very good way of describing how it works, I agree - lasting it out is the best way to get out of depression. When you feel most ready to end it is when you're tired of struggling onwards.
Salinye Posted April 11, 2003 Report Posted April 11, 2003 I like to think of Depression as a virus. A living moving entity with just enough intelligence to keep itself alive. Depression feeds itself. If you are overweight, then often people depressed will eat. If you are underweight, then often people depressed will stop eating without even realizing it. If your insecurity is your talent, then it appears everything you make is not "up to par". Yes, Depression is living and it feeds itself to stay alive, scavenging food from whatever source bears the most fruit. There is also a difference between being depressed and having depression. Everyone has depressing moments. Being depressed for a short time is different from suffering from long term depression. However, don't mistake that comment as me belittling short term depression. Depression in ANY form is a hard road to walk. If I could give any suggestions it would be these: Don't comapare your strengths to other people's weaknesses. Recognize that you are different in many ways, we all are. Embrace your differences rather than fear them. Don't feel guilty or bad about yourself for taking steps necessary to cure your depression. Remember, if you suffer from true chemical depression and the reason you don't seek help is because you feel inadequate if you do, then you have just fed the living demon known as Depression helping it to stay alive. Just my two cents....sometimes worth more, sometimes less... ~Salinye
Starlight Posted April 13, 2003 Report Posted April 13, 2003 Yes Peredhil, fear of not living up to a standard of replies to a thread scares me away from posting, possibly why I stayed away from actually reading and registering at the Pen for so long. But here I am, perhaps I can overcome that fear. Or even surprise myself and post things I didn't think I was able to write. But as for the topic at hand, I have felt depressions in various situations, and while the causes may have been different, the result was always the same. And it sucks, to be frank. BUT, there is always a way out, and by that I mean a good way. Love, be it from a friend or a relative or whatever, has dragged me up numerous times. The times I didn't get that, I still dragged myself up through my own willpower, but it was a lot more painful. Show your friends and family the love that you feel for them in their time of need, it really helps.
Brute Posted April 14, 2003 Report Posted April 14, 2003 (edited) I must agree with Starlight. Love works wonders. Even if it 's just a friend that suddenly calls out of the blue when you're feeling down and was wondering about you, that helps. Willpower is an awesome thing. I've discovered over time that I possess a lot of it, but unfortunately, it must compete with an equal amount of laziness. And ya know, kinda breaking away from the popular idea of individuality in this thread, depression might be overcome at times by simply realizing that "Hey, no one else around me is wallowing in self-pity. Why the hell should I be the sad one?" That 's always been the most reliable way for me to pull myself out of the dumps- that simple little self-rhetoric. Sometimes it's quite shocking to actually imagine an outside perspective of how we seem. .....I don't think I quite captured my thoughts in that last statement... anyway, I guess it's exactly as Tzim said...it's a test of endurance. When you've reached your limit, either you give in, or you find a reason to survive. As far as the biochemical problems of depression goes, I have no personal experiences with that. I do believe Peredhil completely though. I see no shame in admitting the problem and seeking a correction through medicine. Edited April 14, 2003 by Brute
Tasslehoff Posted April 14, 2003 Report Posted April 14, 2003 depression is dumb.. plain and simple.. :|
wyldpatienz Posted April 14, 2003 Report Posted April 14, 2003 Funny, I've never written anything on depression. I don't know a whole lot about it. I know I haven't seen my family in 20 years and my father died ten years ago and I just found out a few months back. I dreamed once that my mother told me she'd never loved me and the only thing I was frustrated about was why she hadn't told me sooner....then I wouldn't have wasted all that time trying to make her do something she was incapable of. I left a 15 year relationship because I felt my lover could do so much better without me and that bothers me more then the child I gave up for adoption when I was 16. And that fact about that fact...bothers me. And I know I don't want anyone's pity....though I think sometimes I might be better off if I did. Instead, its just how things have gone because of stupid decisions on my part.....and I look at other couples and feel as though I'm on the outside looking in...because I don't understand much of what I see..... I know I have days where getting out of bed is a major decision but I don't cry anymore.....and i don't know if that should bother me or not. I know I try very hard to make those around me happy and when they are, I step back because for some reason, its not for me to share. And I know I tried to commit suicide out in the desert last year and I remember climbing onto a small peak and looking out over the desert and it being so still....so very still....I could hear the beat of my heart with each breath and I sat down and waited for both of them to stop with a feeling of relief. I think depression is...not knowing anything about it at all. Its not knowing if the decisions you make are best for you or those around you....or if what you're feeling in a certain situation is the same repsonse everyone around you would have if they were in your shoes. When I was growing up, I lived in a neighborhood called the Cove down in Panama City, Florida. I used to go running at night and the roads were like a maze and if you didn't know your way around, you could be out there for awhile. But I used to like to run by peoples' houses and look in....and watch them eating dinner, or sitting in front of the tv, or reading a book, or just talking in their living room. (yes, there's a law against this, I know,lol) and i remember feeling very distant, not lonely, but very alone. With depression I think you're just "out there" running by in the dark as everyone else goes about living their lives.
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