Justin Silverblade Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 Sad but true, this one's a little close to home, but I thought I'd share anyways. It is unedited, quite raw - but that's the feeling that came with it, so.... Enjoy. - Justin. ~~~ Liquid Sin That laughter, from across the room, It’s started now, I know that sound, That bane. The eve’s begun, started so soon. My love of night sadly wanes. Only four between them, He’s cheap. She’s weak. Both deny the feat of life, And in ‘living’, withdraw. And twelve for him, he’s fine. He’ll stand again, and walk, Or try. But he’s fine, of course, To corrupted eyes. None for me. I’ll not blind. I’ll not blur. A virgin still, as if a treasure, As if an accomplishment, Or a scar. As if it was a something, Free will, free speech, society’s tar Plague of ‘acceptance’. As if I make a stand. As if I denied myself, To be better, to be wiser. Lies. None for me. There is no cloud. No morals. Who are you when you partake? Not he, not save an anthology of sin. A defeat. For better or worse, someone else. Not who I’ll meet. None for me. So simple, so sublime, Can I continue? It hurts to see the night, Of friends who ‘live’, Who laugh and play. They do not see me. Four friends were we tonight. Then thirst was quenched, they went. I cried. Three strangers looked at me. I smile – a lie. None for me. That sinful bridge. Need not exist. I’ll not cross it, and meet friends again. I’ll weep and sigh, and burn it. Not in protest, but in decision. You’ll not know, you’ve sipped. Pass the drink? No thanks, None for me.
Rahsash Geldich Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 I can really relate to this as many of my friends drink, smoke, and do things to themselves which I know to be hurtful. It's sometimes as if it hurts me more than them, strange as it is. I g thingdon't understand it at all, but knowing i am in the right is the only consoilin
Falcon2001 Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 Heh, excellent poetry there Justin. I'm kind of obsessed with the topic of sin, so the topic caught my eye.
Gyrfalcon Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 Gyrfalcon applauds Good going, Justin- great work.
reverie Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 i feel ya... and reply with one of my lost poems... fragment: of hazy skys and altered states we no longer can partake for the pain -pulls like a chain rev...
Blondemoon Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 *nods in silent contemplation and understanding of both Justin's and reverie's poems* I like yours Justin. I've seen what people can turn into when they partake of alocohol in particular. (haven't known any people who have done drugs...I'm sure I will at some point or another further down the road) Saying that I totally agree with it...would be pretty much calling myself a hypocrite, since I have been known to drink on occasion. It's sometimes as if it hurts me more than them, strange as it is. Rahsash, I know what you mean. (Yes, I know I said I drink....but as a friend I tend to worry when I know a friend is drinking a hell of a lot of liquor. )Reverie: I'm not sure if fragment is the title of that little poem, or if that's what it was, a fragment of a poem, but I like it. I'll use the abbreviation for what I want to say here: ICrC.
Peredhil Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 Peredhil has known people who hurt so badly inside, they seek numbing no matter the price. Easy to say don't, it's bad for you. Hard to love someone enough and weather their pain to the point they don't need the stuff.
Blondemoon Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 Good point Peredhil... *gives out her own set of hugs*
HopperWolf Posted February 10, 2003 Report Posted February 10, 2003 I have known people who saught to numb there pain in many different ways and it is very hard to watch Harder to stay with them. Alchahol was far from the worst, but it was still terrible.
reverie Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 (edited) okay blondemoon grl you got me stumped.. can't for the life of figure out what ICrC means... went through every netspeak resourse i could find and came up with nada... you can pm me... if you want... oh btw... it was a fragment of pretty long poem i wrote 6 years ago... Alas, it was lost along with about 15 others, when my highschool writing jornal came up missing... pity... rev... Edited February 11, 2003 by reverie
Vlad Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 (edited) (I could really connect) hehe, I made it up b/c I am soooooooo lazy Edited February 11, 2003 by Vlad
Canid Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 SKillfully written. *The wolf applauds.* I don't have such an array of friends, but like you I have sworn to myself that I'll never touch a drop. I congratulate you on your own decision.
Justin Silverblade Posted February 11, 2003 Author Report Posted February 11, 2003 Hey guys. Thanks for sharing, and letting me share. I don't normally like to air out my problems here, but I know that my RL friends don't come around here, and I NEEDED to vent. I have friends who drink too much, and friends who drink occasionally and respectable. Friends who respect my choice not to drink, friends who nag me about it. But the bottom line is all my friends drink - and I hate it. Usually I say to myself that I don't mind, as long as they're willing to accept the concequences of their actions. But every time I see them open up a bottle of anything, they change... if not physically or mentally, then to me. To know that they're of altered state, I don't know, urks me. It's a bias feeling, I know, likely on the edge of, well, being completely predjudice, or some other malice, but I can't shake it. To think that to lighten up, or to loosen up, or to enjoy themselves, or even if it is to it in.... to think that the drink is useful, not even nessesary, but just usefull... I don't know... Well hell, I do know. It makes me feel angry towards them - which sucks 'cause they're my friends. It makes me feel like they've disappointed me, even when they drink responsibly, which also sucks, because i know I should be okay with their choice. And it ruins whatever fun a sober man is supposed to have at a party. Sigh. So this is the result. Thanks again guys. Yours, - Justin
Tasslehoff Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 very well written justin. I have occaisionally drinked, did this weekend, but I tell you what, after one crazy night, I have yet wanted to really ever drink a lot.. Alcohol, a drug, kills, but sometimes its just sounds too good to resist, but I look up to you for being able to resist it so well.. You are a brave and bold man in this world for not drinking.
Ozymandias Posted February 11, 2003 Report Posted February 11, 2003 I've been drunk once. Thankfully, I did not lose all the control I expected to, only in my thoughts, but even that frightened me enough I'll not do it again. I've got a friend who regularly tore my heart out because she was so addicted to pot, and didn't seem to care. I've seen death, and many of the horrible abuses we can heap on ourselves and others. But apathy to me is one of the most insidious, and that's what that damned stuff gives you. It especially hurt, like you said Justin, because she's my friend, and didn't care about all the incredible good in her she let atrophy and die because that would take too much effort away from her "feeling good". I felt like a worthless idiot when I saw no reaction to any plea or action I took to help her. So I stopped talking to her, because she seemed resolute in her choices and I saw the point at which she started dragging me down with her. Late last year, we met again for the first time in years. She's still addicted, and as bullheaded as ever, but is actually intentionally or unintentionally weaning herself away from the stuff as she's started to make progress in life. So we've started hanging out together again, and I keep my counsel quiet, and my cheering loud. We're resilient, we humans, and came come back from anything, if we let ourselves. As always, an exemplary poem in structure, word choice and imagery. Really.
reverie Posted February 12, 2003 Report Posted February 12, 2003 (edited) ...i've seen the end result of a lifetime of recklessness... and then seen many others cut down too early by the same recklessness... shatter, broken, cerated dreams turned to walking nightmares... Tends to give ya perspective in life...if nothing else... I admire anyone able to pull themselves back from the brink... revery the dreamlost "we've all walked through fire, some of us just had our feet held to the flame..." the dream continues... Edited February 12, 2003 by reverie
Rune Posted February 21, 2003 Report Posted February 21, 2003 I live with an alcoholic. I am hurt by an alcoholic. I bleed because of an alcoholic. I cried because of this poem. Thank you for sharing Justin.
Archaneus Posted February 21, 2003 Report Posted February 21, 2003 Rune, living with alchoholics can be tough, I wouldn't know personally, but I have been around them a lot and I know hwo it can really suck. Just look to the future and realize that all things do end eventually and hang in there.
reverie Posted February 22, 2003 Report Posted February 22, 2003 good example of typical alcohlics kid's: huckeberry fin... rev...
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