Passionsrejected05 Posted February 6, 2003 Report Posted February 6, 2003 Nothing The dark is closing in. The knife in my heart is getting deeper. Don’t let me die! My sun is getting blacker. The clouds are getting heavier. My soul is scared. Don’t let me cry. Take me away. Fly to another day. I’m being burned. My heart is broken in two. The shadows are all I can see. I’ve never had this before. The kind of fear that tears at your mind. I want to hide. But I can’t escape from it. Loneliness is my fate. I guess I’ll just to have to wait for it. My impending doom. An endless nothing.
Rune Posted February 7, 2003 Report Posted February 7, 2003 Accepting what one feels fate to be is often a mistake..as fate does not confirm what she has in store for those who believe in her. Instead she chooses to play the shadow and operate from the dark to twist and change one's life based on her master plan. Great poem, the structure is alittle on the shaky side in my opinion. Mainly with how it flows from time to time. But I dont think it really affects the poem too much in general. You might try storing it and coming back at a later date after its had time to fade from memory and re-read it. That might give you a chance to restructure it if you feel it does not sound right.
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