jamesdevin Posted February 5, 2003 Report Posted February 5, 2003 Fatal Error The tale of my life, my brother dies, his fatal error, and I don't cry. The crick in my neck, the stress in my life, all I wanted is for him to see, see it went all to his head. Kind he was, but now he ain't, an error in his past, a choice he must regret, his choice, his life. I look at him and laugh, his best is not what I want, his worst I see, and his death has no meaning. At his very end I shall laugh, to the end, to the start, no regret I shall have, just a laugh ar a horrible brother. James Devin
Degenero Angelus Posted February 5, 2003 Report Posted February 5, 2003 Lots better language. I like this, though it's kinda.... abnormal. Good stuff.
Rune Posted February 5, 2003 Report Posted February 5, 2003 Your style is very rugged which makes it unique. Reminds me of something more akinned to a street style. Very difficult subject, but you put it together nicely. Thanks for sharing.
Peredhil Posted February 5, 2003 Report Posted February 5, 2003 Intense, raw. the denial of caring thanks for sharing.
Archaneus Posted February 5, 2003 Report Posted February 5, 2003 Raw and, of course, uncaring, just like me. It gets right ot the point. I like.
Recommended Posts