Tasslehoff Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Alright, Doom. Here you go.. Here is my poem ; Explicit First Love. This was written after a wonderful night with my girlfriend, we spent all night laying in each others arms, just talking and goofin off, no frustrations from the outer world or anything, just the two of us, making a night to remember. Too bad it had to end, and our relationship too.. Once again, this is a MATURE subject.. So if you are asily offended by such stuff, please dont read any further. -- Explicit First Love -- Today I knew for the first time, Understood this craving inside me, Discovered this ache for you, Was more than I'd assumed, And I looked into your eyes as our words encircled one another, I quivered at your touch, When I knew for the first time, I wanted you to kiss me, Satin lips on every part of my skin, Glancing all my secret places, Tongue dancing on my flesh, When I knew for the first time, Eager hands exploring my body, New territory, When I knew for the first time, I wanted you to love me, To stay with me every night; Hold me close, To feel your chest rise and fall as you sleep under my cheek, And wake up with your eyes meeting mine, A smile slowly creeps onto our faces.. Never having to ask, just knowing how you feel By looking into your eyes and sighing in unison Today I knew for the first time I wanted to love you
Justin Silverblade Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Wow.... Now that's poetry. Emotional, endearing, earnest... Wonderful.
DoomGaze Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Now this is what I'm talking about... as always... i loved this poem form the moment i read it... It always nice to see it again Good Job I give it TWO penguins up :penguin:
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Wow! That really was very well done.
jonathan_wolfe Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Very touching and personal, I give it two penguins too!
Archaneus Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 I normally don't like poems about love and all it entails but this ones good.
Zariah Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 oooooo, that poem really touched me. I really understand you and this feeling. And I can tell you right now, that the quote "It's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all" Is clearly evident by the feeling you have experienced. Also on a more focus note of writing, I think this is clearly an example of excellent poetry. Please write more!
Tasslehoff Posted February 4, 2003 Author Report Posted February 4, 2003 WoW Thats about all I can say.. No not about the peom! I didnt expect such a large responce from it.. But I like it.. I think.. LoL.. Thanks Guys.. Now that I read it again, it is pretty cools. lol~!!
Falcon2001 Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Lucky Bastard Good poem, too, btw. Excellent work. I give it two thumbs up 'cause penguins are evil.
Degenero Angelus Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Yeesh, Tas. You say my stuff's good. This is good poetry... I wish I could channel emotions like that. It's what it's about, pure, raw emotion. Good stuff, Tas, good stuff.
jonathan_wolfe Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Since I'm a fellow raw emotion, power style poet, I'd like to comment on that general style of composition It's hard... very hard because often you have to work yourself into a groove before the words flow. For example, I do my best work while listening to music, I can feel the emotions around me and from the song and reinterpret that into a free verse free for all. The trick is to avoid abstract thought, unless you're -really- good and know how to write powerfully without needed a groove. I still love this poem, mood fits since I just recently obtained a girlfriend... That's all you need to know for now.
DoomGaze Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 (edited) HEHEHE dont forget who told you to post this up :P Or come on your door and take out my and blast you hehehehehe... told ya it was good Edited February 4, 2003 by DoomGaze
Tasslehoff Posted February 5, 2003 Author Report Posted February 5, 2003 First off, Doom. SHH! lol. Secondly Deg, your work is good. Very good. I wouldnt say it if I didnt mean it.
HopperWolf Posted February 6, 2003 Report Posted February 6, 2003 As those who are familiar with my stuff will likely know (both of them) I looooove good love poetry this is a great poem, it's all of the above. personally, I'm a little shy when it comes to the explicit, prefering the implications. closest I got to this level of goodness was Wild love I think you have handled your poetry with decency and respect, for which I have a great amount of respect for you. It would have been so easy to make it lewd. But then, I can see, that would defy the point wouldn't it?
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