Archaneus Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 Wrote this one last night. No clue why, just did. Anyone have some suggestions for a title? I walk down the city street I see people all around me They all have something to do They all have somewhere to be They all ignore their destiny It will all end eventually Procreating and recreating What’s the point of it all? Everything has an end They choose to ignore it To go on without thinking They are ignorant of all
Vlad Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 "The Path of Life" -OR- "Moonlit Street" those are the only two that stick out to me, but it is an interesting view on life
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 I don't know Archaneus, maybe it's not thinking about it that keeps us from strangling ourselves with our umbilical cords at birth - I just don't know. Of course, maybe it's possible some people think too far down the wrong path... People are certainly free to do that, if they wish. Good description of existential angst.
reverie Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 hear's one of my discarded titles on a similar theme... *drum roll* "walking" rev...
Cyril Darkcloud Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Hurled from birth, it has been said, are the frail children of fleeting time on a course that ends in absence and in dust and the falling still of voice and limb. Alive are those, it has been said, whose eyes refuse to turn away from the abrupt and sudden ending of the road and in their steady forward running gaze perceive a life and rest that lies much deeper than earthen graves. A provocative and important theme. Well-chosen and on the whole a well-presented engagement with a difficult topic. Now that you've managed to get the words and ideas down, it might be worth playing with a some ways of restating your ideas -- there are a couple places that could benefit from a second look. The last line, for example, is weaker than it could be, for example, as it simply states something your other words have made obvious. Again, however, simply needing to play with the wording in a couple spots is a good problem to have -- it's the sign of a nice bit of writing. As for a title -- Journey's End is what came to mind as I read it and spent a little time thinking about its words.
Tasslehoff Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Archaneus, Its very well done, short but to the point, how about: Ignorance Walks
Archaneus Posted February 4, 2003 Author Report Posted February 4, 2003 Thanks for the titles. A lot of good ones, not sure which one to use. Cyril Darkcloud: This is the only way to express my ideas about the poem you wrote in your comment that's right, I'm in total shock. Great expression. Zool: Maybe we all should strangle ourselves with our umbilical cords. Lol. Thanks for all your help with title and examining what needs to be changed.
Rune Posted February 5, 2003 Report Posted February 5, 2003 *boggles* After Cyril's comment I will just say that the poem was uber wicked and I like it. They all ignore their destiny It will all end eventually Procreating and recreating What’s the point of it all? To answer that question, I would have to say the point is simply .. what else do we have to do? Unless re-incarnation or the ideals of heaven are fact.. then you only get one life and you might as well enjoy it. Worrying about the end only brings one closer to it faster in my opinion. I know you didnt ask anyone to answer that question, but its always fun to do so I think. ^___^
HopperWolf Posted February 6, 2003 Report Posted February 6, 2003 In my own opinion, why worry about the things you can't change, if everything comes to an endanyway, spend you time as best you can, living life and not hiding from it.
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