reverie Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 (edited) Charging... Gather it all To begin it again Time pulls me forward So follow me then... For a while, I shall stumble As new trails are blazed... Found in a flury Old path we will raise... time... revery the dreamlost "fuzzy wuzzy was a bear..."(m. goose & grim) the dream continues... Edited February 3, 2003 by reverie
Rune Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 thought this was kinda neat..and it might be intentional but notice how the first part the lines start small and get longer Gather it all To begin it again Time pulls me forward So follow me then... Then in the second..they start long and get shorter: For a while, I shall stumble As new trails are blazed... Found in a flury Old path we will raise... If you changed "Old path we will raise... " to "Old path will raise... " it works out perfectly. Not that that really matters. Just thought it was kinda neat. Great poem.
DoomGaze Posted February 3, 2003 Report Posted February 3, 2003 I agree with Rune, the placing of the words seem to be quite symbolic, "showing" the high part of the poem if u know what i mean
reverie Posted February 4, 2003 Author Report Posted February 4, 2003 oh kewl... your right rune... how 'bout that... um when i get a bit... i'll work on it some... wasn't intentional though... like titled says... it was a 5 min improve... so didn't have time to go indept in structure... what came out just came out... thanx... rev...
Tasslehoff Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Rune, so have such great skills at knowticing such little stuff. Bravo job reverie on such little time.
jonathan_wolfe Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 Rev' the five minute improvs are the ones I love, you have to be short and sweet and too the point. Then you look back and goes, "Hey... that's got more in it than I thought"
Degenero Angelus Posted February 4, 2003 Report Posted February 4, 2003 I love improvs. Especially good ones like this. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair.
Elvida Posted February 18, 2003 Report Posted February 18, 2003 FUZZY WUZZY WAS COOL!!!!*looks at the staring people* what?
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