Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Report Posted January 30, 2003 Dragcor Warwick Page Posts: 21 (11/8/01 8:35:31 pm) Reply one night in the life of a vacuum salesman -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- be warned, this is sort of a make up as a type it here sorta thing, so it wont be that poetic or this that or the other the stars shine bright the moon is shining your freezing your tail off cauz the lady kicked your butt out she wanted a silver tray and a free shampoo but you ran out of your trays so she threw you out like doggy do NO SILVER TRAY out with the trash you go to try to wash your machine no water, no soap, just you you have to make money got to pay all them damn bills but it seems like all this customers fell down the wrong side of the hill im trying to type this and im tired as hell so ill go set my alarm and wake up to that blasted bell ok, that SUCKS hehe, but heck, for a guy who sells vacuums, its not to bad right right...?? Edited by: Dragcor Warwick at: 11/8/01 8:36:23 pm
Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Author Report Posted January 30, 2003 Rezure Quill-Bearer Posts: 25 (11/9/01 12:54:28 am) Reply A Variation on a theme -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Trial 1: One Day in the Life of a vacuum salesman... As Dragcor Warwick awoke one morning from unsettling dreams he found himself transformed into a monstrous vacuum cleaner. He lay on his plastic, cordless back and saw, as he lifted himself up a little, his smooth, bagless abdomen with a small light at the front. From this height his blanket could hardly stay in place. His numerous attachments, were completely inaccessible to him, just flickering helplessly before him. "This sucks," he thought. It was no dream. His room, a proper room for a human being, only somewhat too small and unfortunately hard-floored, lay quietly between the four well-known walls. Above the table, on which an unpacked collection of sample carpet was spread out (Dragcor was a traveling salesman) hung the picture which he had cut out of an illustrated magazine a little while ago and set in a pretty gilt frame. It was a picture of a sheep with a fur hat and a fur boa. It sat erect there, lifting up in the direction of the viewer a solid wool muff into which her entire forearm disappeared. Dragcor's glance then turned to the window. The dreary weather (the rain drops were falling audibly down on the metal window ledge) made him quite melancholy. "Why don't I keep sleeping for a little while longer and forget all this foolishness," he thought... Trial 2: To peddle vacuum cleaners is not a very easy task You must do demonstrations from dawn until the dusk You try to keep your dignity You try to have some class but selling vacuum cleaners is a @#%$ pain in the ass Refrain: I can't take no more of this awful routi-i-ine 'Cause I'm sick and tired of making things cle-e-ean I know life's not easy, I don't like to mo-o-oan But a travellin' salesman always feels so alo-o-one Nobody's that interested in what you have to say And people disrespect you to make you go away When they say "it sucks and it blows!" they think they're being funny oh, the things you must put up with just to get a little money Refrain I don't know my co-workers But I know my boss's a jerk He must think that I enjoy doing this kind of work But I must keep on working til the day that I grow old And keep up a fake appearance to get that vacuum sold Refrain Hovers and Orecks and Dirt Devils... Oooooooooooohhhhhhh!
Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Author Report Posted January 30, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 370 (11/9/01 6:55:16 am) Reply Vacuums better suck! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But these both don't. LOL. Dragcor - I think anyone who's been in sales will relate to your frustrations. Rezure - Great job playing with patterns and variations. -Peredhil
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