Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Report Posted January 30, 2003 Signe Green Page Posts: 31 (1/15/02 7:52:56 pm) Reply Daisy -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess. Not that the beautiful part really needs to be said I guess because nobody wants to hear a story about an ugly princess who winds up an old maid running her brother’s castle so that the beautiful princess HE married has more time to well, be beautiful. Anyhow there was a beautiful princess and her name was Daisy. Not a very princessy name but her mother was one of those dairymaid turned Queen types and she had had a cow named Daisy that she really liked. Anyhow, Daisy (the princess, not the cow) had a ball that she liked to play with, made of gold. The courtier who gave it to her claimed it was solid gold, but of course if it were the princess wouldn’t have been able to lift it, let alone toss itgaily in the air and catch it again, which she was tremendously fond of doing. So one day Daisy (no, still not the cow) was playing with her gold ball in the palace gardens when she tripped over a branch a careless gardener had left on the path after trimming the apple trees. The ball flew out of her hand as she fell, and landed with a SPLASH right in the middle of a large pond! Daisy got up, and brushed the dust off her pretty princess dress, and straightened her tiara. Then she picked up the branch she’d tripped over, hoping to use it to fish her ball out of the pond. But try as she might, all she managed to do was soak her pretty princess slippers. Finally she sat down on a bench by the pond and began to cry. “Ahem! Over Here!” With amazement, Daisy realised the frog was speaking! “What do you want?” She asked. “This isn’t the Frog Prince!” “Oh” The frog looked somewhat taken aback “Err, well, that is to say. Would you mind letting me fetch your ball anyhow? And then kiss me? I’m awfully tired of not having opposable thumbs, it really does wear on a person you know.” Daisy sighed. She really did want her ball back, even if it did spoil some other story. “Alright.” She agreed, picking the frog up with a grimace and tossing him into the pond. A few seconds later he reappeared, pushing her ball up the bank to her feet. Again she picked up the frog, this time kissing him right between his big frog eyes, which really weren’t as cute as Kermit’s at all. Now, since Daisy fully expected the little frog to become a handsome prince when she kissed him I’m sure you can imagine her surprise when the poof of smoke cleared and there was a beautiful yet clearly old and evil witch standing in front of her! Daisy gasped took a step back and the witch cackled. “Foolish Princess, that’s the oldest trick in the book, I can’s believe you fell for that! Just because I’m feeling generous though, I’m gonna do you a favour. That and the fact that I love this spell. Instead of dying when you prick your finger you’re just going to go to sleep til a handsome prince comes and kisses you” Almost before she’d finished speaking the witch was gone. Daisy shrugged. After all, she wasn’t much of in the habit of using a spinning wheel anyway. “You there! Princess Daisy!” Daisy turned to see a friend of her fathers sitting in his carriage on the driveway, beckoning her over. She rolled her eyes, wondering which fairy tale was going to hit her in the face this time. “Daisy, your father’s been bragging about how you can spin straw into gold.” Daisy groaned inwardly, great, here comes the spinning wheel…”and so I’m going to borrow you for a few days, I know your parents wont mind.” Daisy sighed and climbed into the carriage. When they arrived at King Frank’s castle down the street, a maid took her to a small room full of straw and brought her a spinning wheel and a stool for her. Daisy sat down on the stool with a thump and started waiting for Rumplestiltskin. Around about noon she drifted off for a little while and when she woke up there was an old lady in the room who offered her an apple. Daisy (yup, still the Princess and not the cow) unthinkingly bit into the apple, realising her mistake when she fell of the stool, awake but immobile. Inwardly Daisy cursed herself for not even noticing the magic mirror poking out of the crones pocket. She waited She waited A bit of straw started to tickle her nose. She waited some more. Finally, just when Daisy thought she was going to go mad, the door opened again and in toddled King Frank and Queen Sally’s 2 year old son, prince Davey. Daisy silently entreated the child, crowing with glee at having opened the door, to plant a big baby kiss on her cheek. Prince Davey was oblivious. Luckily for Daisy, he was also unsteady on his feet, and as he fell face first his lips touched her left big toe, freeing her from the spell of the annoying apple lady who by rights should have been off harassing Snow White. “DagooBAH!” screamed Prince Davey, toddling back out of the door again. Daisy waited some more and sure enough, a small rumpled grumpy looking man soon appeared. “I’ll make a deal with you” he began. “Yah Yah” she interrupted “I know the drill. Here, I’ll save us both a lot of time. You’re Rumpelstiltskin, I need some gold, how about you save us both time and just change this straw?” The little man fumed angrily, but in the face of a girl who knew what she was about there wasn’t much he could do. He changed the straw to gold and left, thumbing his nose at her. And none to soon, because king Frank had returned to check on her! He smiled happily when he saw the heaps of gold lying about the room and clapped his hand companionably on Daisy’s shoulder, sending her reeling into, of course, the spinning wheel, which, of course, pricked her finger. Daisy’s last thought as she fell asleep was “Oh god, not again!” She woke later to see her pimple faced older brother standing over her, sneering and wiping the girl cooties off his lips. “You are so much trouble Daisy, Mom’s gonna ground you!” Sometime later Daisy sighed, looking forlornly out of the window of the tower to where she was grounded for disrupting so many stories, even though it seemed to her that it was hardly her fault. She glared balefully down at Daisy (yes! This time it’s the cow!) who never got pulled into other people’s stupid cheesy storylines. “Pssst!” Daisy felt a headache coming on. Not another one. “Psst!” “Whoever you are, I’m not interested! Can’t you see I’m in enough trouble here?” Daisy hissed back. “Oh. Sorry, I’ll just go find some other princess to rescue. Sorry I bothered you! Have a nice night…hopefully the rats won’t get you. Bye now!” Daisy rethought her position quickly. “WAIT!” The voice returned. “Yes?” “I changed my mind. Here!” With that Daisy took her hair down, letting it tumble like a rope down to the prince. Being a princess she had long hair of course. The prince quickly climbed up, bringing a rope which they tied to the bedframe so that they could both climb down again and go out for pizza. THE END http://www.themightypen.net/public/style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif)
Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Author Report Posted January 30, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 840 (1/15/02 8:06:17 pm) Reply ezSupporter -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peredhil busts out laughing. Makes me want to tell Fairy Tales to Gloria again.
Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Author Report Posted January 30, 2003 Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 184 (1/15/02 10:12:41 pm) Reply Re: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *Gyr laughs* I love it! Poor Daisy... I'd feel battered if that many stories intersected in my vincinity. *laughs* BTW, Daisy was the name of the Princess in the Mario Bros. series. *grin* *very* good, its always enjoyable to see new ways for old stories to turn out. =)
Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Author Report Posted January 30, 2003 Foe Calibur Page with the Golden Mug Posts: 52 (1/17/02 5:04:49 pm) Reply Re: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wonderful! Foe laughs heartily I love the way you inertwined the various fairy tales into one politically correct story.
Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Author Report Posted January 30, 2003 Bhurin Initiate Posts: 43 (1/17/02 7:16:32 pm) Reply Re: Daisy -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Excellant! Wonderfully whimsicle! Its been sometime since I read fairy tale satire. You have an excellant talent here.
Archive Posted January 30, 2003 Author Report Posted January 30, 2003 Ozymandias the Elder The Founder Posts: 199 (1/17/02 7:28:28 pm) Reply Re: Daisy -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ozymandias applauds animatedly. "Bravo!"
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