Morning Lines

[Cyril Darkcloud]

Morning Lines

 

I heard those other birds,

I heard the little ones

throwing songs from their throats

at the first hint of sun,

bright chirps taking flight

as those first pale spears

thrust into the night

and cut a chunk of day out of the sky.

As the night was pierced

and the black drained away,

I heard their throats empty

of happy little songs

and their silent, reverent pause

as the sun began to climb.

Then I heard the crows awake

and throw their brazen squawks

back up at the sun

and I felt the rasp

of their calls across my skin

and the hangover hoarseness

grating in their throats

and their feathers

beating out a wind.

And as the morning lost its song

and picked up a whiskey cough,

I opened my eyes

and knew my day could start.

[Peredhil]

Oohhh. Vivid imagery and symbolism.

 

I'm not sure why, but I'm finding echoes inside myself of "My Papa's Waltz" by Roethke. (one of my favs by the way, so it's a good thing.)

[Vlad]

I like this.

I couldn't put my finger on it the first time I read it, but Peredhil nailed it right on the head.

Symbolism.

It takes a lot of skill (or in my case, luck) to write poems or prose using good symbolism.

You have it.

[Rahsash Geldich]

Birds are symbols of so much yet you narrow the field beautifully.

[Rune]

I have always admired your work Cyril and its always kind of exciting to see another topic started by you. This one is no execption. I will echo the comments of those before me and say that the imagery and symbolism is very intricately done. I also noticed your word choice is unique and often adds to the superior level of the poem. Lines like "throwing songs from their throats" and "And as the morning lost its song" stand out in particular. Could you go into details about the symbolism that is embeded into the piece? I'm sort of curious if it is the same as what I had seen.

[Cyril Darkcloud]

* Stops in his tracks, stunned by such complimentary words * :yuiwink2:

 

Thank you all for the kind words and feedback.

 

Rune, I'll be happy to elaborate a bit on the way this piece is put together. It'll take a few days to do it, however, as I'm presently buried under a mountain of work. Grad school, as much fun as it generally is, has its moments of crazed working -- especially for those trying to finish up -- and I'm caught in one of those periods *LOL*

[Scarlett O'Harpy]

There are some really lovely touches in this, I've come back to it and re-read several times - thanks for posting.

 

Harpy