Cyril Darkcloud Posted January 21, 2003 Report Posted January 21, 2003 The whispered words of shouted thoughts fill the air between us, and the simple act of drawing breath mingles whispered shouts within us. The air is heavy with the syllables of pain exhaled between us, and we fill our lungs with the spent and spoken breath of what we keep within us. Breathe we must, and yet our breathing kills us.
jonathan_wolfe Posted January 21, 2003 Report Posted January 21, 2003 An argument between two people, abstracted to a high level of irony, this is good stuff. I also like the very smooth ryhming scheme. Keep it up.
Degenero Angelus Posted January 21, 2003 Report Posted January 21, 2003 This is good stuff. I'm starting to see what I've missed while I was... away. Good job.
Blondemoon Posted January 21, 2003 Report Posted January 21, 2003 Mmmm...I like this. As much as I hate arguments, I like this because of that reason, and because of the imagery you invoke. I find it to be sad, but very powerful. Good work
Rune Posted January 21, 2003 Report Posted January 21, 2003 Rune nods in agreement with all the other bigger people who have said their comments before her. She nods so voraciously that she almost topples over.
Cyril Darkcloud Posted January 23, 2003 Author Report Posted January 23, 2003 Bending, he places a hand on Rune’s shoulder to help her maintain balance. “My thanks,” he says quietly. He rises and, smiling his gratitude for the kind words that the others have spoken, steps off the edge of the balcony into the gusting winds that move with such freedom about this board.
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