Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 134 (9/4/01 4:43:01 am) Role-Call and Weenie Awards! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peredhil marches in and consults a scroll. Hear-ye! Hear-ye! And a hey-nonnny-nonny-rah! Time for a Pen Membership Roll-Call. In the nearly two weeks, ending date 21 September, 2001, There will be a Role-Call in this thread, right here. The rules are simple: 1) All replies must be in this thread to count. 2) Each member should reply AT LEAST once. 3) This will be a Baton-pass Role-Call. To wit: you must read the last post, take the subject, develop (change, warp, tweak, etc) it, and then end it ready to pass to the next poster. 4) At the end of the stated period (21 September 2001) any Member who HASN'T posted receives the Weenie Award! The Weenie Award is a title that will appear under your name. To get rid of it after receiving it, you must post one well-written post with 'Buying off Weenie Award' in the Subject line. Peredhil grins toothily. Let the Games begin!
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 135 (9/4/01 4:48:11 am) The Starting Gun fires! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peredhil picks up the Thread's Baton and starts off! "Melvin was a mariner A sailor of the sea, who had a girl in every port each he'd hardly see. And in every point was Vinnie, Who'd sneak around and see, Every girl, who had Vinnie's kids That Melvin supported for free." Throwing the newpaper to the floor, he turned to his wife and exclaimed. "Liberal Rubbish! Who'd believe such tripe as that? That a man would support children not his own!" His wife quietly smiles over the eggs, and pointed out another article in the paper.
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 137 (9/4/01 6:03:10 am) Peredhil passes the Baton to - himself? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Picking up the newspaper reluctantly, he read the article. "What?! The Tree Hill Mob is moving into the neighborhood?!" He glared at his wife. "Unbelievable! We'll have to move." Turning, he called his boys. "Vinnie Junior! Vinnie Three! Are you ready for school yet? Kids. If you don't keep up on them always, they just aren't responsible at all." "Now now Melvin," His wife soothed, "They're good kids." A knock came at the door. Peredhil drops the thread like a hot potato and passes the Baton to... ?
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Jechum LoreMaster Posts: 59 (9/4/01 6:08:17 am) Re: Peredhil passes the Baton to - Jechum -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Melvin gets up from his chair and moves over to answer the door. Posted on the door is a little message that reads: “Weenie not me! But if you read and post quickly, neither do you have to be. -JN” After reading the message, the illusion disappears. Melvin doesn’t quite get it and naturally assumes that it must be some kind of trick the kids are playing to get out of school. Melvin goes off marching up the stairs…. Passing the Baton to… Edited by: Jechum at: 9/4/01 6:27:56 am
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Zool47 Elder Posts: 66 (9/4/01 7:06:52 am) Re: Peredhil passes the Baton to - Jechum -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Melvin is marching up the stairs when his head goes a bit further than the ceilling. He falls backwards into a dream. He is falling through the leaves of marching trees. The leaves glare down at him with surly spontaneity, and cumulous weenies tower over valhalla thunderheads. It begins to rain a bittersweat mustard. Then Melvin has a vision. He sees Vinnie, Vinnie, Vinnie, and the wife wrestling Monster trucks. But he takes satisfaction in seeing they are winning. Next thing he realizes is the painful view from the floor, as he lay in a crumpled heap looking up the stairs. ~Zool~ Elder of Elders, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword. Bard of Terra, Patron Saint of Aspiring Bards. Elder than dirt, more foolish than a jester, able to trip over the smallest logic in a single step. It's... Oh, you know. Edited by: Zool47 at: 9/4/01 7:07:33 am
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Yui Temae Quill-Bearer Posts: 68 (9/4/01 8:31:05 am) A shadow steals Zool's baton -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Baton disappears from sight, swallowed up by a shadow that ... ... slips across the ceiling before Melvin's swimming gaze. It is forgotten before he even realizes he's seen it, however, and he raises his head, groaning at the headache exploding in a brilliant rainbow from the lump decorating his skull. I have got to stop forgetting to duck right there. He struggles to his feet, rubbing his offended head, and continues up the stairs to the boys' rooms. "Hey! It's time to go, boys!" And he pushes open the door to find... ... that the shadow has passed the baton to...
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Wyvern00 Elder Posts: 85 (9/4/01 9:59:23 am) Re: A shadow steals Zool's baton -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...his brightest son, Vinnie Three, had already created the rocket intended to take them to planet Saturn. "Excellent work, Vinnie Three! With this family-sized rocket, we'll be able to flee. We'll fly off to Saturn, where no Treant Hill mobsters will be!" "Ummm... dad... what's with the rhyming patterns?" questions Vinnie Three intuitively. "... Forget it. Let's see... how do you fly this thing...?" "Errrr... dad... it's not fully constructed yet. I really wouldn't touch that button if I were you..." Vinnie Three takes a few precautious steps backward. "Say... where's Vinnie Junior?" "Well... actualy, the rocket engine functions on Vinnie Junior and several gallons of 'Jolt' cola..." "What does this button do?" Melvin presses one of the rockets buttons. "Uh oh..." mutters Vinnie Three, and quickly flees the proximity of the building. Wyvern passes the baton to... ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is like one big crime: I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Edited by: Wyvern00 at: 9/4/01 10:00:36 am
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Minta Rose Bard Posts: 5 (9/4/01 10:44:42 am) Joltycola! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *whirrwhirrwhirrwhirr*sputter*clickclickclick* Melvin depresses the button again. *clickclickclick* He thumps the control panel with the flat of his hand, and the gas gauge's needle unsticks and drifts down to zero. (in the Engine Room) Two straws extend from a single keg of Jolt, burbling as they slurp up the last of the soda. Vinnie Junior looks shyly over at his sweetie, then takes his straw away and lets her finish before scooting closer to her end of the treadmill. They look at one another for a few seconds, then break into hysterical, hyperactive giggling. (outside the house) "But, Mom, you don't understand. The rocket's gonna explode!" Vinnie Three tugs urgently on his mother's apron. "Nonsense. I'm not going to let those mob goons move me out of the home I've been decorating for years." She plants her feet firmly and sweeps Vinnie Three firmly out the door. "Now, shoo, and go play with your tinkertoys. I have to dust, and vacuum, and freshen up. We're expecting company."
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 23 (9/4/01 6:14:18 pm) Gyrfalcon reluctently takes the Baton -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *flicker* Melvin looked to the left... hadn't there been something there? *flicker* out of the corner of his eye... surely he had seen something? *flicker* There! What was... *flicker THUMP* Melvin was blasted into the seat of the rocket, and his shoulder bumped a lever.... the throttle. Outside the house, Vinnie Three and his mother looked at the house as a rising whine of overheated treadmills is heard, not noticing the three Treant Hill Mobsters approching... Meanwhile, Gyrfalcon finally managed to slow down from a Haste spell gone horribly wrong, roughtly five miles away. As he pants for breath, he remembers the man he had accidentaly run into, and hoped he was all right. He also hoped that he hadn't damaged something delicate on that machine... Edited by: Gyrfalcon25 at: 9/4/01 6:20:58 pm
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Rezure Page Posts: 7 (9/4/01 11:39:23 pm) Gyrfalcon reluctAntly takes the Baton -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- "If there's anything worse than the movies of Macaulay Caulkin It's to have your machinery ruined by the likes of Gyrfalcon!" "uuhh, daad, Rhyming couplets again!" Vince quickly interrupted But as the rocket was happily speeding through the atmosphere, a much more down-to-earth problem faced the three mobsters, Lucky, Lenny and Vinny. The three hitmen found themselves in the lowly role of househunters. Why, you may ask? Because earlier in the day, the Don told them "It is my sincerest wish to live in that suburb. Capiche?" (evidently everyone was feeling quite rhymey that day) And what the Don wishes, the Don must get. [Edit:]Oh yeah, I almost forgot: **meanwhile, somewhere far far away, a lone Baton follows a scent only it can sense** Edited by: Rezure at: 9/4/01 11:44:01 pm
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Zadown Bard Posts: 69 (9/5/01 5:47:09 am) On the Lost Batons -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Dreamer snatches the baton, hand appearing from nothing and disappering back to nothing... Executing their maneuvers with militarylike effecient grace, the three mobsters set forth to bring a house down for their don; Lenny scouted forward and painted the target with a laser while Vinny loaded their House-Crippler 4 inch grenade launcher. Lucky, acting as a gunner on the principle of "Nomen est Omen", pressed the button and the high explosive round whirled through the air... KA-BOOOM! ...and crippled the house Melvin and his family had just escaped from. Roaring, the living masonry creature glared at the mobsters with all its windows, but the shot had landed in the right place. It couldn't move its stony legs any more. ... the Dreamer throws the baton through a portal to completely different direction. OOC: No fair, rhyming! I can't do that, not being a native english speaker... OOC 2: Uh, darn, misread ... .. the rocket crew beams all the rest of the family up to safety.. .. now, that should do it. Edited by: Zadown at: 9/5/01 5:52:34 am
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 142 (9/5/01 7:07:46 am) Re: On the Lost Batons -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Snatch, juggle, and The bewildered family crowd the rocket cockpit. Melvin is laughing maniacally to a Samba beat, Ha! Ha-ha! Ha! HA! as His spouse is muttering imprecations including ominous phrases as to WHAT will happen WHEN she gets them home and WHERE is Vinny, I mean the Milkman when she NEEDS to de-stress. as One of the smaller Vinnies is crying and wiping his snotty nose as The Vinnie on the treadmill runs furiously as The Mobsters move with precise covered rushes to secure the now stationary, but still dangerous house, glaring at them with narrowed shuttered windows, the doors of its mouth held slightly agape as The Flash, red costume and lightning ears is passed by Gyrfalcon, and glares after him with Red Death in his Heroic Gaze as The Knitting Society and Assassins Association of Blue Haired Ladies considers how to deal with the Mob threat moving into their turf. One sagging granny shakes a withered veined hand and vows, "We won't stand for this! Girls, get your walkers!" as the rocket ship bounces from the belly of a low-flying dragon named Herman, who suffers from indigestion. Herman belches flames and barrel-rolls out of the way. But Melvin and the entire Risorgimento family is sent plummeting on a spiral descending path! Fighting valiantly at the controls, they work to flatten the caroming chariot of technology that is their ship, hoping to use the 'skipping stone' philosophy of shedding velocity and surviving impact. As per FAA regulations, inflatable dolls containing oxygen begin falling from the ceiling and floating around the cabin. Watching the rocket trailing carbonated gases, a bloodshot trio of eyes project it's intended course. "IF they survive... They could end up on my... Island!" The insane cackle that follows is suddenly choked off by gnats flying up the laugher's left nostril... and tosses the Baton high into the air!
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Zadown Bard Posts: 73 (9/5/01 10:03:28 am) Re: On the Lost Batons -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *does a standing ovation to Peredhil* Encore!
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 El Jakob Initiate Posts: 10 (9/5/01 10:40:38 am) Re: On the Lost Batons -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...where it is snatched in mid-tumble... As the doomed projectile hurtles through the atmosphere... It's occupants screaming in fear... A large sea-going mammal swallows it whole, shedding but a single tear... A resounding crash shatters the quiet sea-scape... Near flatulance, the behemoth seeks escape... Gas, Approaches critical mass... A tiny bubble appears at it's... ...and again the baton is passed... take care, you may wish to disinfect... of course, you could always have it checked... The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.. Initiate of the Pen is Mightier Than the Sword Edited by: El Jakob at: 9/5/01 10:41:35 am
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 144 (9/5/01 12:06:59 pm) An observer comments -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Peredhil snickers at Jakob's run with the Baton. He's having such fun bouncing this around with these great writers, it's difficult for him to keep from snatching it again. With all the restraint of a long life-time of control, he tries to give some of those who haven't replied a chance... Although his Quill is twitching.
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 gwaihir1 Quill-Bearer Posts: 4 (9/5/01 3:01:42 pm) passed...to Gwaihir -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So that rocket is on it's way Its people gasp, and start to pray It rises and rises towards the top, It's caught on stuff and starts to flop The family jumps out and starts to flail Mrs. Melvin now looks quite pale They claw their way up to the air and soon they all arrive up there Swimming, pantingthe little band All manages to reach dry land
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 145 (9/5/01 4:33:59 pm) Re: passed...to Gwaihir -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Pen&Quill to show that strange leaps are allowed... The dry land where in dwelt A normal man with normal belt A normal lad without a poem Who combed his hair with normal comb Somewhere on the Island to which the family had swum To emerge with the seawrack and foam Not unlike Venus on a shell Although they all looked like hell There is a normal man... He was a most normal of men. Rather plain brown hair, brown eyes, pale complexioned with the fainted hints of freckles flecking his skin, competing with the smallest spots of melanoma. He was a dutiful son, constantly consulting his mother in every choice. His friends would laugh in admiration as he'd take the severed mummified head of his Mummy and ask it questions and for advice. The waggish way he'd shake her head no or yes as fit his mood or desire simply set the girl's hearts on fire. What woman wouldn't swoon to see such a son? He had the tender heart of a lover of nature. He loved to throw French Fries at the pidgeons in the park, hitting them in their little cooing heads and watching them stagger before fighting with flashing peckering beaks for the potato dainties. Or the most normal of a man's friends, he loved to feed the dogs. To the alligators, watching them gleefully rip a leg and twirl it off, often taking the rest of the barking whimpering canine to hide in the mud, tenderizing in the depths. Such a student of nature was he! Such a well-humored man, that laughed and laughed with delight at the most subtle of life's little dramas, such as the family dragging themselves out of the water, sucking back into the raging tides, crawling through the shell-stocked foam, like the first fishies crawling from the sea to proclaim, "We shall rule the lands as well!" He applauded their efforts As he watched them come ashore Then he continued his little walk Just a normal lad and the head he bore. The Baton washes in the tides, flatulated from the whale, his the mysterious Island, and now we continue the tale...
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 El Jakob Initiate Posts: 12 (9/6/01 9:42:44 am) Re: passed...to Gwaihir -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ...and is snatched from the murky waters by a classical image of Venus riding her cloud chariot... "And now, for something completely different..." Scene fades in from black... A small man sits behind a newsdesk. Large glasses (coke bottle-bottom style), mousy-brown and rather unkept. To his left (your right) sits a large woman (most likely a left-over Russian swimmer that couldn't find a job lifting steel girders)... He speaks... Good evening. Lawrence Snoodbelly here, joined by Ingred Shoonowski with the news... Camera switch to his left front... Unfortunately, he fails to notice.... "This evening, reports of a large fireball falling towards earth..." He finally notices he's not looking into the correct camera when someone shouts off-camera "OVER HERE!"... "Ah, there you are... This evening, reports of a large fireball falling towards earth in the vicinity of the Slutty Islands... Umm... sorry, the VIRGIN Islands... have been confirmed by the US Space Agency NASA. We now take you, live, to Bernard McGillicutty in the... VIRGIN Islands... The small image of the remote camera over his shoulder expands to fill the screen... Bernard can bee seen standing on the singed shoreline somewhere in the Virgin Islands... In one hand, he holds his microphone. The other is covering the earpiece he wears... "Bernard..." Lawrence calls... "Can you hear me, Bernard?" pause Bernard continues to hold his pose... "Bloody Hell! CUT!" The newsfeed is suddenly interrupted by an advertisment for a feminine hygeine product.... ... and the baton spirals on a cushion of television snow.... The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.. Initiate of the Pen is Mightier Than the Sword
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 lumpenproletariat Elder Posts: 23 (9/6/01 2:15:33 pm) As a mob member, I feel I must interject... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A small hands covers the baton. "Youse have no need for dis. Lawrence?" Lawrence, not wanting to upset the mobster just nods and waves frantically... While outside, the small mobster gets into a long black car, holding the baton in his powerful grip "Lets roll." The baton holder grumbles. 6 other mobsters were in the car with him. Going by the names Sleepy, Happy, Doc (OOC: Et al, I can't rememer ). Together they formed the 7 dwarves of the THM, the lightning of the Dons' right hand. They were to be feared by all, and the 7 dwarves knew it. "Yo! Grumpy, We gots word of a half elf thinking he's flash, getting above 'is station." doc, the driver called. "Youse guys know what to do... Edited by: lumpenproletariat at: 9/6/01 2:18:35 pm
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Ozymandias the Elder Founder Posts: 19 (9/6/01 4:22:13 pm) Somewhere, an aged Egyptian sighs wistfully. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SQUEAK. "Sweet Jesus in a smoking boich bark canoe!!!", yelps the baton holder. Inadvertently jerking the wheel to the right, the car caroomed violently onto the shoulder. A small black robe, sporting toothy muzzle and bony tail had just leapt onto the windshield. With a quick flail, its miniscule scythe cut through the glass, and the abused baton made another odd pass. Producing a crayon, as calm as could be, the ratty visitor scribbled for all to see: ____________________________ Let me handle this, ____________________________ flowed the precise, waxy script. ____________________________ As PR man, I'd say this chance can't be missed. Sincerely, The Death of Rats The Great Squeaker Priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the priest to the left side of the great God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen Minister of Propaganda, Treant Hill Mob ____________________________ Was all the the yellow note read. And before they knew what to make of it, they collided with a 500 pound gorilla, SMACK! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! dead. From the burning, banana-smeared wreckage, climbed a tiny, indomitable figure, set to deliver his package. The Grim Squeaker was off again, baton in both paws. He ran as fast as his two legs coud carry him, before he ran into...Jaws??
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 lumpenproletariat Elder Posts: 25 (9/7/01 12:49:28 am) Re: Somewhere, an aged Egyptian sighs wistfully. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- One of the dwarves looks through blood/banana hazed eyes, muttering something about the car, and how "it's" back
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 156 (9/7/01 5:06:02 pm) Jaws -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the tall cadavorous form of Jaws blocked the Grim Squeaker's escape. Grinning metallically down at the cloaked figure with the small but stylish scythe, he kicked the Thread Baton back onto some type of continuity. As the focus shifted loosely back around Melvin and his family, a stabbing pain in his stationary foot caused him to hop backward, arms flailing, and fall into the water. A huge white shark, with several copywrite lawyer-remoras circled in quickly... TGS shook a boney fist after the lost Baton as the Role-call continued.
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Cheye69 Page Posts: 25 (9/8/01 8:20:55 am) Re: TGS Overboard!! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Whilst all of the family was too stunned to react, Melvin being from the sea chose action instead of reaction... Sprinting toward the dock, leaving tattered garments in his wake as he ripped them from his body, Melvin Jumps, catches the baton in one hand and twists his body around to dive into the frigid shark infested waters. Grabbing the bony hand of TGS, he effortlessly throws him up and onto the dock. Hearing the "smack" as TGS hits the wooden boards much of his adrenaline rush leaves him. Looking behind to see if the shark is anywhere around he doesn't realize he is already at the dock though. Turning to look toward the dock again, Melvin smacks his head **THUMP** on the log supporting the dock. With a small almost unheard,"Ummph" he blacks out and slowly descends into the black abyss of the waters.....
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 168 (9/13/01 4:09:28 am) Melvin! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- As his body slipped unconscious beneath the chill waters, the murk at the harbor's bottom began to stir ominously... His flacid descended in bobbing jerks as large bubbles of air erupted from his slack mouth; his arms waved limply in the turgid currents. With a swirl and spiral of improbable fortune, a somewhat ragged, but still powerful tail propelled the mermaid to Melvin's aid. The chill lips cast a lip-lock on him, temporarily granting the ability to breathe underwater. His eyes flutter, confused, seeking some landmark in the murky gloom. Only to be confronted with a wrinkled old face, framed with long streaming green-tinted grey hair, smiling a single yellowed tooth smile. Melvin screamed. "Hello big boy! Ever made it with a mermaid?" Melvin screamed again and began thrashing feebly to get away...
Archive Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Morganex Page Posts: 8 (9/14/01 2:20:27 pm) Re: Somewhere, an aged Egyptian sighs wistfully. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Puzzled the Meremaid scratches her shaggy curls. "Wonder why they allways do that.....oh well I will make do as always." With a shrug she grabs Melvin by the hair and drags him to her lair and straps Melvin to a rusty anchor. "Nice and secure...now to the important things ...food." With a flick of her tail she dives out into the murky water in search for fish and other things. With a soft groan Melvin comes to himself only to stare in the face of a .........
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