Tasslehoff Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 -Since I cant find the *Members Forum*.. I figured I would write it here. I was thinking about maybe, a well.. A Song Forum.. I know its poerty, but hey.. I dont know. lol What do you all thing? Anyways.. Here my post: Eyes closed; Trying to grip the ever so crushing reality, Standing as tall as my heart will let me; Right by your side as long as your heart can stand me, Trying not to falter; Trying not to show the pain existing, Wanting to run away; Lost way too many to count, Standing tall; Always here; Through the thick and thin, Heart beating so rapidly; Words from my lips faltering, Hiding myself and the pain; Keeping it hidden; Deep within my skin, Being there for you; Many steps back; A few forward; But still there by your side The constant anger and jealousy, Creeping through my veins, Causing the damage; Ever so great The thing we shared, All shattered by the one lil' kiss Standing here face to face; Mono e mono, Just wanting to be that someone, The one who you look up too Running away at an uncontrollable pace; A pace I don't see, Sparks are flying; Happiness everywhere, Yet off you run; Too far away to stop it; Cursing the emotions, Seeing the truth; Don't understand and not wanting too, MAKE ME UNDERSTAND IT! Is there something more; a hidden lock; a passage unseen, Was I handed it all or given nothing at all The constant anger and jealousy, Creeping through my veins, Causing the damage; Ever so great The thing we shared, All shattered by the one lil' kiss Standing here face to face; Mono e mono, Just wanting to be that someone, The one who you look up too Running away at an uncontrollable pace; A pace I don see, The Memories though up, All but false advertisement, Waiting to be pushed out, Seeing it come, Clinging to what lil I can; What lil you left; What lil I see, Standing you up; That I did; Giving you the life and trust you needed, All the sacrifices and praises; No regrets nor false promises, The constant anger and jealousy, Creeping through my veins, Causing the damage; Ever so great The thing we shared, All shattered by the one lil' kiss Standing here face to face; Mono e mono, Just wanting to be that someone, The one who you look up too Running away at an uncontrollable pace; A pace I don't see, The mere 5 minutes I see of you, I cant argue, Still being with you, Its a gift I still treasure, Still learning on the outside; Still burning inside Burning, Burning for what was once... Standing here face to face, mono e mono Running away at an uncontrollable pace, A pace I don't see.....
Gyrfalcon Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 Good song, Tasslehoff! I like the beat and the refrain. My only complaint is that lines that go like this: Standing tall; Always here; Through the thick and thin, where they're three parts rather then two, seem to go on a little too long, but that might just be me. the half-elf shrugs Either way, good work.
Rune Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 Rune dances and hums to a beat in her head. I'd have to agree with Gyrfalcon. The only part that doesnt seem to fit into a song are the lines that contain 3 parts. When just singing the song to a random tune it seems like it would be hard to ramble through those lines. None the less the piece in general is astounding.
jonathan_wolfe Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 As the great Dave Spivey said: I, LIKE IT!
Tasslehoff Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 See, that is much my porblem. i dont hum or sing when I write, so often the songs are very hard written, coarse along the edges, until I get a chance to sing it along with my friend playing the guitar.
Rune Posted January 21, 2003 Report Posted January 21, 2003 Ah no worries. Every song goes through changes to fit a tune, or a tune goes through changes to fit a song. It's really amazing overall. And btw, your quote is a good song as well.
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