Jump to content
The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

Recommended Posts

Posted

[Limit]

 

Start smooth, moving along

simple, easy... cruise

accelerate, kickback... gravity

gravity the wrong way

 

turning, faster... heavy, sliding

back again, the cruise

so much easier

 

back again, nothing comfortable

at seven gee

 

loops, barrel rolls, cut-fades

the dogfight

white tracers, smoking trails

 

impact...?

 

too far... can't.. yes..

 

 

Silence.

 

 

*edit* I know this may sound offensive, but I just recently got creative and started writing poems like crazy... I'm hungering for feedback, what I received was very truely positive... but I need more.. please! :blink:

 

Jonathan go sleep now...

Posted

Gyrfalcon laughs You've become a response junkie, I see. The half-elf smiles, then prepares to respond

 

Wow, probably the shortest (in word count) description of a dogfight that's even engaged me- good job!

 

I can even see the fighters manuvering in my mind's eye- good going. :)

Posted

Jonathan laughs and thanks his old friend Gyr for the feedback, then Rune the newcomer for responding to ever darned new thing in the Banquet hall.

"Indeed, I got what I seeked, especially with the help of Rune. I got my feedback and it's given me the confidence to continue my work and go at it like never before."

He rexamines the poem for himself, appreciating his work

"Did you know this was originally a driving poem? It only turned into a dogfight at the third or fourth verse, when it seemed to just morph into it. I guess I like dogfights more than racecars. :D Doesn't help that I'm addicted to Macross Plus, those were the best dogfights you'll ever see in anime."

Jonathan grins and goes back to his poem writing with a strange exclamation,

"ph34r th3 p03t1c 0n3s"

 

:)

×
×
  • Create New...