RIvaL Posted January 19, 2003 Report Posted January 19, 2003 I was having a conversation with a friend a few days back. Somethings were said that maybe we shouldnt have said. We havent talked since then. I believe I might have overreacted. Maybe I didnt. I dont know. Whatever the case I used some of what we said and wrote a short sotry about it. Here it is. http://www.sentrygun.com/ascension/sad.txt
Gyrfalcon Posted January 19, 2003 Report Posted January 19, 2003 Indeed, that is sad... I don't know who to feel more sorry for in that story- the man for all he lived through, or the girl for discovering that what she thought was love... was a lie. On the personal side, I hope you and your friend start talking again, soon.
Rune Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 I can identify, a bit.. with that writing. There are parts there that really hit close to home. I am glad you decided to post it and I'd love to see more. And I'd have to agree with Gyrfalcon, Im not sure which to take pity on.
Blondemoon Posted January 21, 2003 Report Posted January 21, 2003 Wow...that really packed a punch. Just took the breath right out of me, and almost brings me to tears. I'm not very sure who I feel more sorry for either...the man, or the girl. I'm leaning towards the girl though, for the same reason that Gyrfalcon brought up.
reverie Posted January 24, 2003 Report Posted January 24, 2003 (edited) reminds me of the numbness ppl sometimes wrap around themselves to shield themselves from the world... only taken to the extreme... sounds like the guy's gotta hell of a wall... good luck breaking it down... revery the dreamlost "i shouldn't have to tell you what you want."(annynomous) the dream continues... Edited January 24, 2003 by reverie
The Portrait of Zool Posted January 24, 2003 Report Posted January 24, 2003 That really is a good story, by the way. You have a great feel for emotion, characterization, and irony. You should write more. You could write a sequel, in which they share their strengths with each other, rather than their weaknesses.
RIvaL Posted January 26, 2003 Author Report Posted January 26, 2003 Thank you everyone for your nice comments. I'm already writing down my random thoughts and ideas for another short story. I dont think it'll be a sequel for this one since I said what I wanted to say. Maybe at a later date, but I'm not certain yet.
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