jonathan_wolfe Posted January 19, 2003 Report Posted January 19, 2003 Where is the sky... feel like flight, flying? the wrong way... can't reach it spinning... I see her.. can't reach... Why won't she see me? sideways, all is changed. somehow I'll make it down I've found her, she's mine... I cry... I cry... It's all gone. It's all back... Changed.
Rune Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 Rune boggles for a moment, and then rereads the poem a few times to attempt to get a feel for it. Its a great poem, and I think I understand the meaning. Only thing I would suggest is perhaps adding a bit more to it, to give it a fuller feel. There are parts where my head gets alittle lost trying to figure out what you mean. Other than that (in my opinion), its a great poem. Can't wait to read more.
jonathan_wolfe Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Thanks Rune... I want to go over this one, it's my attempt at something that just doesn't click mentally and I think I've acheived that. It needs some work though, I agree, making it longer is something I should try, provided people can take more of this poems near insanity.
Rune Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 insanity spelled backwards is Ytinasni..and if that means anything at all to you.. then well.. you are just strange. *giggles* but Id love to read more.
jonathan_wolfe Posted January 20, 2003 Author Report Posted January 20, 2003 Well, I am far from being finished, I'm going to repost my Dreaming Real poem, then try and go back to that old style that I had, see if I can have any success that way. Here's hoping.
Rune Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 kipi! The little demon props herself up, resting her chin in her hands and waits patiently for jonathan to post more.
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