Falcon2001 Posted January 19, 2003 Report Posted January 19, 2003 I see you standing there With a grin upon your face and flowers in your hair Sometimes I wish I was there In that special place The place where you care...(stretched out) Take me away to a better place Where I've never fallen from your grace Take me there, take me away Don't leave me behind in your wake The tragic garden of love and hate I walk the path betwixt light And the world you desecrate You are the reason, you are the fate But you're a deadly poison The mongoose to my snake...(stretched out) Take me there, to that special land Where you'll be there to take my hand Take me away, take me oh so far To the land deep inside your heart (guitar fill, with vocal 'Bah, ba-bah' stuff going on) Nothing you say can cure my disease The flowers on your lips Will never give me a rest or ease So I turn and walk away from my fate My heart's been torn And I don't need to recriminate Let me fly with you, to that other place I want to be with so bad it makes me ache Let's go away, and never come again I don't want for us to just be friends Take me there never to return I want to love you so bad But I don't want to burn It's so hard to fix things, why do I try? I love you much, love But I hate to cry... ==================== For my first poem at the new site, I feel rather proud, this feels really good to me. I mean, I haven't been writing very well lately, but this actually has a song line to it before I started it...I was wandering around town, and this just came fairly unbidden to me - and then I went home and wrote it down. Tell me what you think, k? *eagerly awaits comments*
Gyrfalcon Posted January 19, 2003 Report Posted January 19, 2003 Go Falcon! You have a career as a songwriter ahead of you, I think.
Peredhil Posted January 19, 2003 Report Posted January 19, 2003 you need to keep writing. Not as much to improve, (although growth never ends), but to feed my growing appetite for your works... -P
jonathan_wolfe Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 Essence To be having it. This song has the essence.
Vlad Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 Starts humming along to the wrong tune... I like it, it has a nice rhythym and ... I wish I knew technical words...
Rune Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 Kipi! Its wonderful! I can't wait to read more.
Passionsrejected05 Posted January 30, 2003 Report Posted January 30, 2003 Falcon? Do I ever have to tell you that your good? Your my inspiration for even starting to write poetry and a very good friend to me. Enough said
Rahsash Geldich Posted January 30, 2003 Report Posted January 30, 2003 I like the way you change the chorus slightly each time, it creates an eloquent break. Excellent.
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