Valdar and Astralis Posted January 17, 2003 Report Posted January 17, 2003 Broken bottles, about me fall. covering the floor. I am the master brewer. Aching muscles, Blackened face. My hammer drops, to smash a pot. For I am a smith. I tie sheep gut Around wooden shaft, And poke my eye. I am the master fletcher. The meal is hot and spicy, Yet none do I eat, For I hate fish. but yet I cook. A lump of clay, I push into fire. The jar melts. I am the potter. How small the needle That pierces my thimble And into my thumb. I am the tailor. How perfect the gem, Set into this ring. I cleave it. I am the jeweler. My fingers are calloused, My eyelids weigh down. Yet I carry on. I am the insane. You have gotten better at line-by-line writing! (1) ***ooc chatter*** Appreciate any feedback. I don't actually know what form of writing is this, I doubt it qualifies as a Haiku. And it's certainly not a poem.
Peredhil Posted January 17, 2003 Report Posted January 17, 2003 Cheers EQ Insanity Huzzah! I know some of those laments... I can't say I have the T-Shirt, I bought the "Got SoW?" T-shirt instead. -Peredhil
Nyyark Posted January 19, 2003 Report Posted January 19, 2003 Well besides the line that says but yet I cook, you use some parrellel structure. That alonw makes it a poem
jonathan_wolfe Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 In all the poems all the times This one reminds me... Of the hardship.
Rune Posted January 20, 2003 Report Posted January 20, 2003 *is having EQ withdrawls* hehe, I really like this one. I reread it a couple of times and it can be inturpreted in so many different ways. Its kind of funny when read in one mindset, then sad in another.
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