Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Report Posted January 15, 2003 peredhil31 An Ancient Polite Bard Posts: 1118 (10/25/02 8:15:38 am) Reply ezSupporter Yui-chan's Collected Poetry -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- really nothing to say intelligently or helpfully, other than you rok0rz! I love reading your works, and you simply get better as you continue to write. You are being read! -Peredhil "A man's judgment is best when he can forget himself and any reputation he may have acquired and can concentrate wholly on making the right decisions." -ADM Raymond A. Spruance
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Zool47 Patron Saint of Aspiring Bards & Weenie Posts: 710 (10/25/02 10:44:38 am) Reply Re: Yui-chan's Collected Poetry -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Indeed - Wonderful! ~Zool~ Hell NO I don't want competition - I want something I can win!
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Yui Temae Huntress Posts: 306 (10/28/02 6:33:33 am) Reply Arigatoo -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you, gentlemen. Frustration at the world is often a good motivation. ;P It's nice to know someone's reading, at least! ~Yui
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 615 (10/28/02 8:08:01 am) Reply Re: Yui-chan's Collected Poetry -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I've read a bit of it too, and I agree with Peredhil and Zool- you go, Yui-chan!
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Wyvern00 Elder of Initiates Posts: 752 (11/15/02 10:25:12 pm) Reply Yui-chan's Collected Poetry Individually Analyzed -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yui, I've read through each of your archived poems several times, and must say that I find each one of them individually brilliant. I also see a number of things which reoccur throughout the poems that add to their excellence, such as your uses of structural styles and rhythm. Overall, this is honestly some of the best poetry I have read on the Pen, and I would highly recommend anybody that hasn't read these poems to get to doing so as soon as possible. Here's an individual commentary and analysis for each poem, as complimenting them as a whole simply doesn't do them justice: "Shards Apart" In my opinion, the underlying theme of this poem deals with two major ways that people cope with tragic events, those ways being the abandonment of hope through death or the acceptance of tragedy by placing one's faith in hope. This theme is illustrated through several excellent uses of imagery, particularly the image of "blowing apart" one's "shards of heart", which is related to the abandonment of love and hope that come about through tragedy. Personification is also used, as can be seen in stanza 3 where Fate is brilliantly depicted as a Grim Reaper-like figure, mercilessly weilding his scythe and symbolizing inevitable tragedy in the process. The narrator of the poem chooses the path of hope, and also challenges the reader to do the same. This can be seen in the final two lines of the poem, where the path of death is associated with failure: "Give up and cease and fail and die,/Or live and fight and choose as I..." (ll. 41-42). This challenge can also be seen on a structural level, as in every second stanza of the poem the narrator offers reasons why it might be better not to place one's faith in hope. Far from glamorizing the path of despair and death, these lines are used to depict the abandonment of hope as a tempting yet ultimately unrewarding option. Perhaps, then, the final theme of the poem is that persevering and accepting the hand that Fate has dealt is a more rewarding option then succumbing to despair. Another final thing to note about this poem is that the rhythm and rhyme schemes are superb. Far from a one dimensional pattern, the rhythms and rhymes alternate with each verse: stanzas 1, 3, and 5 have the same patterns while stanzas 2, 4, and 6 share a different pattern. To close the poem, stanza 7 has a slightly different pattern than those of 1, 3, and 5. This use of structure causes the poem to flow naturally, and makes it a pleasure to read. "In the Old Way" In this poem, the narrator suggests that the best way to live is simply by being one's self, as opposed to choosing false identities to suite the reactions of others. This is shown in the final long stanza, where the narrator pleas "Find your way,/the right way./Never their way,/the locked way,/the stifling way." (ll. 19-23). This statement suggests that each person should follow their own emotions, rather than abiding by the thoughts of others and thereby suppressing their true feelings. In the lines that follow, the narrator also notes that "Only one way/ is the true way." (ll. 24-25). This relates the truth of one's emotions to the single appropriate way of living, and hints at the principle theme of staying true to oneself found within the poem. Structure is also used as a tool to convey the message of the poem... Not only do the formations of the lines add to the natural rhythm of the poem, they also compliment the theme of the poem very nicely. The "Old" and "true" ways in which people follow their own feelings is depicted as a simplistic method of being oneself, and the simple yet catchy stanza structure of the poem serves as a compliment to this theme. The depictions of raw emotions in the first three stanzas of the poem relate to the principle themes as well, as they portray the most basic and true emotions one can experience. "Dawn's Reverie" This poem is my favorite of the four pieces presented in the "Collected Poetry" thread, yet interestingly enough it's probably that on which I'll comment the least. My reasoning behind this is simply that, sometimes, the beauty of a poem cannot be appropriately expressed through words and analysis... Sometimes, it's best to just let the poem speak for itself, to draw the reader in with it's words and seduce them with it's extraordinary charm. I find "Dawn's Reverie" a truly beautiful poem... one which evokes vivid emotions in it's brilliant uses of imagery and it's heartfelt subject matter. I find the imagery used to be both highly personal and widely universal... something that all can relate to, yet obviously written on a personal basis. My favorite part of this poem was the end of the second stanza... I could name numerous brilliant elements of this piece, but that would most probably result in me quoting 90% of the poem, so I'll simply leave it at that... As I said, it's best left to speak for itself... The theme can be found in the last two lines... Those who haven't read this don't know what they're missing... ;p “Lament” This poem deals with a theme similar to that of "Shards Apart", as it's principle message is that people should cling to their hopes and endure tragic events rather than falling into despair. This can be seen at the end of the first stanza, where the narrator notes: "In a world upside-down,/ Hold so tight to your hope!/ Lest you find it struck dead,/ Hung on cruelty's frayed rope." (ll. 7-10). In these lines, the narrator urges the reader not to succumb to despair, and to keep faith in their hopes despite the deplorable state that the world is currently in. In a manner similar to the depiction of Fate in "Shards Apart", Cruelty is personified as an executioner of sorts in the poem, weilding a noose with the ultimate objective of hanging and destroying people's hopes. This depiction makes Cruelty an enemy to be shunned in the poem, as well as one of the primary obstacles to the preservation of hope. As in the other poems, structure is used excellently in "Lament"... The second, third, fifth, and sixth lines of each stanza begin with a short silence, as if the narrator is having difficulty declaring them due to their grim nature. The narrator also ends the poem in this way, which accentuates her challenge to "live life rightside-up" perfectly. ----------- Thus, in conclusion, the four poems presented in the "Collected Poetry" thread are all brilliant in their own individual ways. At the same time, however, each of the poems have a number of excellent traits in common... The use of structure as a form of expression and the theme of the preservation of hope, in particular, are apparent in the majority of the works... On a side note, I enjoy reading these poems over again ever so often, rather than simply going over them once. They really are a pleasure to read... A big round of applause for your outstanding poetry, Yui. I apologize for the loss' of your earliest works, and will be certain to do what I can to retrieve them... Wyv- Almost a Dragon... "Guard your innocence close/ Lest they steal it from you." -Yui, "Lament"
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Yui Temae Huntress Posts: 317 (11/21/02 6:48:36 am) Reply Re: Yui-chan's Collected Poetry -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Wyvern, Wow. Not only am I honored that you took the time and effort to read and analyze my poems, but also that you liked them so well. I have to say that you've done a great job of seeing into the purpose and motivation for each of them. I'm both pleased that I was able to portray my messages so clearly and glad that it was someone of your discerning taste and intelligence who pulled them forth so clearly. You're far better at reading poetry than I am, Wyv, and I hope you realize what a help your insightful analyses are. Thank you for the kind words and your precious time. Rest assured that you'll see whatever other works my fickle little Poetry Muse inspires me to write. Yours, ~Yui
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