Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Report Posted January 15, 2003 Ozymandias the Elder The Founder Posts: 631 (4/30/02 5:39:29 pm) Reply Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seth, please finish! I'm guessing that dawn will be the conclusion, and our dear Gentleman of the Pen (that's you, bub!) will be alright, but I want to know how!! (and if I am actually right) You certainly can keep an audience in suspense. Fabuolous job so far. :>)
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 569 (9/17/02 10:21:36 pm) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- *resurrects the thread for Seth's Fathomed Fear has begun once more* This is an excellent story, my friend. I've caught several biblical references in it so far (and I'm sure I would have caught more if I were Christian), and they seem to be well used. *applauds* Continue the story, please.
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Lord Seth Exodus Initiate Posts: 120 (9/18/02 10:06:54 am) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Oh, thank God! I was begining to think that no one was reading my story; this is very encouraging. And, you're right, Gyr, I try to institute many biblical referances; I'm glad you like them. Just wait for the conclusion. Yours, Lord Seth Exodus Initiate of The Pen
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 570 (9/18/02 1:27:51 pm) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Heh, I've been meaning to say something for a while, but I didn't want to interject my comment into your story, breaking the flow. Then I remembered that the Critic's Corner is here for a reason. Go Seth, and yes, we read it. Or at least I do. *goes and shakes people and tells them to comment!*
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Falcon2001 Quill-Bearer Posts: 403 (9/18/02 9:25:07 pm) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Falcon drags himself into the critic's corner, carrying a briefcase and a bottle of wine. Throwing himself into a chair, he pours himself a glass and downs it, then glares hatefully at the briefcase. "Sorry about the lack of response, but ah've been pretty busy lately. I really like the way you're pulling it off, and hope that you finish this. By the way, I finally started HotA, so if you want to try your luck when you're finished with this, you're welcome to go for it, the more the merrier." Falcon downs another drink and then looks at his watch. "CRAP! I'vegottagoseeyalaterbye!" Falcon is out the door before Seth can quite recover. Cioden Darkeye Quill-Bearer - The Pen is Mightier than the Sword Owner of the Reply Raven - Enemy to all those who never post responses "Oh my God, I'm LEAKING POETRY!"
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Justin Silverblade Page Posts: 159 (9/18/02 10:36:54 pm) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seth, I sent my thougths to you via email some time ago. But as long as this thread is here, might as well give ya a booster. Loved it, loving it, and going to keep on lovin' it. Keep up the good work friend!
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Lord Seth Exodus Initiate Posts: 124 (9/18/02 11:03:10 pm) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Okay, gentlemen, and ladies, if any arrive, I have laid out my story in full now. I would like to know what you love, what you hate, and all comments in general. Your praise, thus far, has been well met, and I greatly appreciate it. I had a few apprehentions about how Seth ended the battle in the flash-back (just to spark something here) does a flint-lock pistol seem too out of place in the story, time line wise and all? I know it suites Seth, but I'm not sure if it fits the time; I could always change it. And I would like some thoughts on the ending. I took it into a far deeper spiritual line than I had thought I might; I like it, but I want your opinions. Those are just some of my question to you; at your leisure. Yours, Lord Seth Exodus Initiate of The Pen
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Wyvern00 Elder of Initiates Posts: 724 (9/28/02 3:40:51 pm) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Seth, I just recently took the time to read through "Fathomed Fear" (sorry for the delay in getting to it) and found it very interesting and enjoyable. Here are a few comments: I think that one of the strongest points of the story lies in the dialogue. You word your dialogues between characters very well, and your descriptions of their emotional responses are also excellent. I also like the way you occasionaly personify the elements of nature, such as the description of the moon's flight after the flashback has ended. There were several moments in the story that I found particularly well done, two of my favorites being the scene in which Seth has a riddle competition with fear and the flashback moment where Eve is slain. I found the riddle scene to be very clever in its use of quotations and word play while the scene of Eve's death had emotions running wild. Once again, I thought the dialogues and reactions of characters were particularly well done in these two scenes. Another thing I liked in the story was the characterization of Seth Exodus. I really got a feel for the kind of character Seth is in addition to gaining some knowledge of his past history... Courteous, confident, and faithfull are some of the first adjectives that come to mind... Seth's character is very clearly portrayed throughout the story. I didn't think the flint-lock pistol was out of place in the flashback... as you pointed out, it suites the character of Seth quite well. The ending, on the other hand, I found somewhat awkward... Obviously the themes of faith and righteousness were meant to be portrayed, but I still couldn't help feeling rather shocked when Seth rejected fear's incarnation of Eve due to her not showing devotion to God. Judging from Seth's love for her in his flashbacks, I would have thought that such a thing wouldn't stop him from cherishing her return... Although the themes were made clear, the righteous ending of the story seemed somewhat out of place to me and was my least favorite part of the story. One other thing you could have possibly improved in the story is the characterization of fear. Though he takes the forms of many of Seth's friends and aquaintances, I didn't really feel that he had a sinister personality all to his own. Then again, his fits of temper did show his inner rage... and perhaps fear was meant to be portrayed as a hollow entity in the story... one devoid of soul or any true emotions... Once again, a very interesting and enjoyable read Seth. I look forward to more of your works!
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Lord Seth Exodus Initiate Posts: 131 (9/30/02 12:48:58 pm) Reply Re: Fathomed Fear -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Thank you, Wyvern, for your comments; they are greatly appreciated. I'm glad that you enjoyed my story; your praise is well recieved. I too was rather proud of Eve's death, and that whole scene. And actually, Seth's rejection of Fear's embodiment of Eve was quite within his character. Seth is as loyal a gentleman as you shall ever find in this world, and his devotion to his wife, as you can clearly see, is one of his greatest loyalties. It is, however, surpassed only by his devotion to God, so he gave way from love to faith. Also, if you think of it, once he realized that, he realized that it truly wasn't his wife, and to accept such a thing would be a great dishonor to the true memory of Eve; also, if that was different about her, what else could be, hum? All of this is more of a personal knowledge to me, as I created Seth, so your thoughts are well justified, Wyv; but hopefully this side of Seth will be better known in times to come. I'm also glad you enjoyed the riddle scene. I was afraid, going into it, that it would be seen as a recreation of Tolkien's "Riddles in the Dark" from The Hobbit, which was not my intent at all. I'm relieved that you like it. I do, however, relate to your thoughts on the ending. It really took a twist I had not thought of taking, and it did come out rather abruptly. I may revise it to be something more subtle, but we shall see, I'm still rather fonding of the ending as is. Thank you once again, Wyvern. Any other criticisms that you or anyone else has are welcome. Yours, Lord Seth Exodus Initiate of The Pen
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