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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

peredhil31

Elder of Lists and Manners

Posts: 751

(12/31/01 7:26:51 am)

Reply

ezSupporter

Duel of the Divine

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Assembly Room, Bhurin

 

Very well done. Like all your works I've read so far, the scene descriptions are vivid enough I feel as though I'm watching them on a a movie screen.

 

The use of the word "cometh" seems misplaced to my 'inner ear' as I read. (I like to read a loud.) I'd thought in the King James English the 'th' replaced 's' such that cometh would be comes, but I haven't checked.

 

Keep them coming - you have great talent!

 

-Peredhil

Posted

Bhurin

Initiate

Posts: 14

(12/31/01 1:02:35 pm)

Reply Re: Duel of the Divine

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Having reread the story, Bhurin sheepishly smiles.

 

"I think your right. I guess I got a little dramatic there. Oh well, no one ever said the Gods were perfect..."

Posted

Gyrfalcon25

Bard

Posts: 149

(12/31/01 4:15:17 pm)

Reply Re: Duel of the Divine

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*Gyr applauds* Very good... I especially liked the poetry, though its strange that the evil god was the one speaking in poetry while the good goddess was the big booming voice and normal sentances.

 

I don't know, i just always thought that poetry was more.... light-hearted? Hmm... can't think of the words, but more connected to the 'good' side.

Posted

Balladore

Page

Posts: 19

(1/1/02 7:06:09 pm)

Reply Re: Duel of the Divine

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Well... King James English... what can I say? I don't know anything about it, that's what I can say ;-)

 

I did enjoy the Story, especially the sacrafice at the end... it was a classic Good Vs. Evil fight, and I enjoy that type of stuff :-)

 

Keep them coming!

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