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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Minta Rose

Elder

Posts: 66

(12/21/01 3:14:23 pm)

Reply Thrice in life

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(Foe Calibur, Banquet Room)

 

The repetition of three, in two-times-three tercets (three-line stanzas) unifies the poem well. The meter and repeating rhyme help bind the author's flowery vocabulary, making this one of the easiest works for me to understand. Thinking further, the lines provide punctuation that sometimes puzzles me in the text:

 

Thrice upon the earth we dwell to rid the land ‘ere ever more,/Shade’s betroth’ed fervid knell.

 

Are we ridding the land of the knell? (If so, moving the comma after 'more' to after 'dwell' would delineate that meaning.)

 

Also, why the 'alas' in the fourth stanza?

Posted

Foe Calibur

Page

Posts: 18

(12/22/01 12:07:10 am)

Reply Re: Thrice in life

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You are quite correct, the comma should not be there.

 

Also, in the case of the "knell" it means the sounding of a bell (so to speek). So, the sounding of death's bell.

 

The alas in the fourth stansa is more to imply the inevitability of the action. Or untill 'finnally' our heavenly state is assured.

 

Thank you for the criticism, it helps me remember that I don't just write for myself

Posted

Bhurin

Initiate

Posts: 8

(12/29/01 12:01:22 am)

Reply Re: Thrice in life

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Foe, I just adore this poem (it is one of my favorites of all you have written).

 

I'm a stikler for structure and rhyme and such, and this poem sent shivers down my spine when I read it aloud.

 

Keep playing with this style.

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