Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Report Posted January 15, 2003 Wyvern00 Elder of Initiates Posts: 286 (12/14/01 9:21:28 pm) Reply I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I realize the poem's not quite finished yet, Falcon, but never the less, a few comments right from the get go: I must say that it's excellent thus far. A possible rival to 'Happy Birthday... for my greatest enemy', depending on how ambitious you are to tell your entire life story through the poem (Wyvern liked 'Happy Birthday' a LOT...). Once again, a great beginning. Two things that I particularly like thus far are the abstract opening with the use of celestial imagery and your depictions of several depressing yet sincere themes. Keep up the good work. I look forward to reading the rest of it. [image]http://www.legion-whiterose.com/signatures/aoa/wyv.gif[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze.
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 peredhil31 Elder of Lists and Manners Posts: 695 (12/14/01 9:24:29 pm) Reply ezSupporter Re: I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cheers I like this one! Golden opening, descent into a valley of gloom, but the has the feel of a triumphant ending. Like watching a really good movie! Must be good - you sucked a response out of me when I have no time! -P
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Gyrfalcon25 Bard Posts: 128 (12/14/01 10:59:59 pm) Reply Re: I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hmm... not much to say as profound as Peredhil and Wyvern... I love your use of images, such as how pain hardened your heart (which is basically how it feels. =\) *Gyr applauds wildly* Keep going! Encore!
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Lady Celes Crusader Initiate Posts: 41 (12/15/01 1:17:42 am) Reply Re: I and all the things that shaped me (commentary) -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Although that the fact that English is my second language and that my brain is making a double work to decipher first the words and then to interprete the meaning, the only things I can say is that this is excellent stuff and keep them coming
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