Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Report Posted January 15, 2003 Passionsrejected05: He loves her, he loves me not. The only kind of love I'll get will have to bought. Tears of sadness streak my face. I'm lonely can't you see? I need someone to love me. I'm so sad. No one cares. Please love me. Is that so much to ask? That's all I want. A prayer sent to above. I need I want I'll die Without Love. I'm so scared. So lonely. No ones around. In a crowd of couples. I don't want to be free. What a way to live.
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Kasmandre: As I've said many times before, I'm a true imbesile when it comes to poetry (rhyming and otherwise), but I really like this poem. It really transmits a sense of sadness and perhaps despair, but also has an element of wry humor (2nd and last line especially). Really cool mix.
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 Gyrfalcon25: It's excellent poetry, but poetry is supposed to be located in the Banquet Room - Second Course.
Archive Posted January 15, 2003 Author Report Posted January 15, 2003 peredhil31: unless you meant this as a 'work in progress, I want specific critical feedback, not just "sounds nice"', in which case it would belong in the writer's workshop. In either case, I think you've the seeds of another winner here. We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to. W. Somerset Maugham
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