Guest Minta Rose Posted January 4, 2002 Report Posted January 4, 2002 Tzimfemme and Rydia Tzimfemme grumbles at the inevitable tide of male mages who stampede at her hands-first, casting Paralyze with one swift flick of the little finger. She then unstraps the Lobotomy, her precious throwable flail, from its halter. *Wham! Crack! Whop!* Three dozen bruised wrists later, Tzimfemme waggles the flail at her chastisted pursuers. "And I expect an extra-large tip to cover the casting cost, understand?" she threatens. The owners of the wrists would nod if they could. "Darn Greased and his incessant calls for more women. . .and what's all this about Malenko anyways? I haven't seen *him* in a Men of Terra publication either!" ------------------ Server One Tzimfemme (the naked mage) Calculus for the Masses! Blitz One Rydia Immortal of Carp Adorned with Pearls Bestower of Holy Power upon Demigods
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 4, 2002 Report Posted January 4, 2002 Malenko *Calmly walks up to Tzimfemme, takes her hand and places a gentlemanly kiss upon it.* My dear, were you to desire my appearance in a Men of Terra publication you need only to ask. *Nudges Greased in the ribs.* Quick man, I need a full page feature article or Tzim is gonna whip out her Lobotomy again. ------------------ Malenko ---------- Calculus for the Masses Legion of Dragons THE Man of Terra
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 4, 2002 Report Posted January 4, 2002 Greased Hey, I ain't the publisher! Find the fanboy or (as I suspect the case may be) fangirl who is! Where's my shot? ------------------ Greased, The Man, Galactic Hero Corps S1 Affiliations: - Calculus for the Masses - The Men of Terra - Honorary Tribe (unless that's no longer true ) A1 Affiliations: - Angels of the Apocalypse - Priest to the Right Hand Side of the God and Pharaoh Nanotoknonnen
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 4, 2002 Report Posted January 4, 2002 Tzimfemme and Rydia If you look on the back cover of MoTM, there's a tiny credits box: Published by Groupies of the Man Association (GOTMA). GOTMA #1: Editor-in-Chief GOTMA #103: Bale Editor GOTMA #1024: BelZpock Editor GOTMA #9: Cid Editor GOTMA #5546: Greased Editor GOTMA #4921: HawkAngel Editor GOTMA #247: Mystery Man Editor GOTMA #6: Missing Men Editor GOTMA #3358: Potential Men Editor All proceeds from MoTM help support the Men of Terra and their party-heavy lifestyle. Send resumes/rumors/donations to Arethusa, Shrine of DEP, Server One, Terra. ------------------ Server One Tzimfemme (the naked mage) Calculus for the Masses! Blitz One Rydia Immortal of Carp Adorned with Pearls Bestower of Holy Power upon Demigods
Guest Minta Rose Posted January 4, 2002 Report Posted January 4, 2002 Malenko Well, singe Groupies of the Man Association isn't in the guild of Terra, I will save them some trouble and go ahead and type up the next issue's full page faeture article: ME. A New Man of Terra By: A Groupie Ladies and gentelmen, recently a new Man was inducted into the Men of Terra. Being given the title The Man IN Terra, Malenko has settled down comfortably into his role as smartass of the group. I sat down recently to interview him, with some interesting results. Groupie: So, you say you are the newest Man of Terra? Malenko: That is correct Groupie. Now get me a beer. G: riiiggggghhhhhttttt. Now, on to the interview. Why don't you describe yourself for the masses. M: Gladly. I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. G: Intersting. M: Shaddup, I'm not done. Furthermore, using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. G: Well, at least children like you. M: One more time and I'll stick that pad so far up you're . . . Oh, sorry, where was I? I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvish Presley. Anything else? G: Umm... no, that sounds like plenty. Thanks for your time. M: Don't mention it, and where the hell's that beer? ------------------ Malenko ------------------ Calculus for the Masses Legion of Dragons THE Man in Terra
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