Guest SaberCoEP Posted July 7, 2002 Report Posted July 7, 2002 I guess I'll give this a shot.. Been hearing a lot about ThePen the past couple days, and it seems like it might be interesting.. Wouldn't mind having some intelligent people to discuss things with.. Uh, I guess Deggy was the one that told me about this place, so blame him if you don't like me. lol I guess I'll put up a few poems, see if you like them. If I'm not accepted, still wouldn't mind being able to post a few things now and then.. -Death- The darkness surrounds me, the shadows enveloping me. wrapping around me, squeezing tighter.. The air is getting thin, and it's hard to breath.. I can't see, nor can I hear. "What's happening" I wonder while staring into the abyss. Staring, wondering why? why does everyone have to die? I stand on the edge, my body trembling with fear.. Then it finally hits me, I know why I'm here. And as I take my last final breath, i know the meaning of life is death. -Within Myself- As I sit within the back of my mind, I look for the answers that I cannot find. Time passes and the lights fade away, and now I just rue the day, that I ever let you slip away. The roads have become rougher the obstacles tougher, Within myself I find the paradox which appears to be a wall-less box. Within myself, I discover the lies, "@#%$ you" and "die" are common replies. Within myself, the truth is what I find memories of a tragedy burnt into my mind. -Tangled Heart Strings- I can see myself within your lies, caught in your web like small flies, Tangled in the darkened strokes of your art, hangs my slowly dying heart. It's slow beat is sickening to the ears once again, the darkness worsens my fears. I look into your eyes, and I can see your lies, Twisting me within the barbed wire that hangs in your heart, as burning as fire. I cannot escape, for I have lost my way. Now death has come for me today. I say good-bye, and shed a tear. Hurting you was always my biggest fear. Let me know what ya think.. And I figure it'll be constructive, cuz it seems this group is pretty respectable. -May the writer's block not destroy your mind like it has mine.- *X-Sabre on IRC*
Degenero Angelus Posted July 7, 2002 Report Posted July 7, 2002 Excellent, Sabre, good luck man Unlike my last invitee, this one's serious.
Justin Silverblade Posted July 8, 2002 Report Posted July 8, 2002 The ladies and gentlemen of literature are always welcome here, Saber, whether enrolled in our ranks, or not. I enjoyed your poems greatly. Good work, and keep on writing. Good luck on your application. Yours, - Justin Silverblade (Aka - Enos|Silv on IRC)
reverie Posted July 8, 2002 Report Posted July 8, 2002 In my opinion, your very good. I especially enjoyed -within myself- and -tangled heartstring- -within... strikes a familar theme with me (or something near it)... i repeat it often in my head from time to time... the tradigy of loss... reflecting the time that has past, slightly probing back from the edge of your mind to see if what wounds remain... hmm, not the best at critiqueing others... but i think you show your emotions vividly... pealing back with harshness to show vunerablilities that lie underneath... well that's what i got out of all of it... revery the dreamlost Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Guest SaberCoEP Posted July 9, 2002 Report Posted July 9, 2002 Thanks for the critiques, and accepting me into The Pen.. It's an honor.. You can send the info to grimlock420@hotmail.com Once again thank you. *X-Sabre bows graciously as he quietly strolls out of the Recruitment Office.* For the end is never seen, always heard and rarely understood.
Wyvern Posted July 9, 2002 Report Posted July 9, 2002 SaberCoEP sighs dismally as he lays back in his applicant easy chair, stretching out his arms and fidgeting impatiently with a quill he had found on a nearby desk. It had been quite a while since he had arrived at the Recruitment Office and submitted his application in the hopes of joining, yet there hadn't been the faintest signs of anyone willing to look over his application... The Almost-Secretary Melba had assured him that the Elder of Initiates would arrive shortly, but the entire day had gone by and still there wasn't the faintest sign of the overgrown lizard... Hanging up the receiver to her telephone and sadly shaking her head, Melba turns to SaberCoEP and apologeticly mutters: "Sorry, Mr. Saber, but it appears that you're going to have to wait here a while longer..." SaberCoEP moans "... Elder Wyvern is currently off galavanting on one of his schemes and we have no idea when he'll be returning. Furthermore, it just so happens that all of the Pen Elders Dwarves, who normally replace Wyvern as the Recruiters in his absence, happen to be sick with a high fever today. I would call them in anyway, but they seem to be in really bad shape... Greedy's acting unselfish, Grouchy's sounding kind, Wacky seems sane, Sleazy appears to be healthy, Shiny has this dull look on her face and Sexy looks disgusting. Heck, even Courtesy is acting impolite..." Melba pauses and thinks for a moment. "Although come to think of it, if I remember correctly, Wyvern recruited an 8th Elder dwarf, didn't he...?" At that very moment, an energetic orangutan crashes through a ventilation grating on the ceiling and quickly snatches up SaberCoEP's application, replacing it with a small pineapple labeled 'ACCEPTED' before disappearing back into the ventilation ducts. Silly, the 8th Elder dwarf, had struck again... OOC: An ACCEPTED application, Saber. Nice work... my favorite of your poems was probably "Within Myself", though they're all worthy of praise. Welcome to the Pen! Please be sure to post an e-mail address where I can contact you so that I can mail you the member pass and stuff. [image]http://members.shaw.ca/kea/am/wyvy.jpg[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Edited by: Wyvern00 at: 7/9/02 12:56:40 am
Guest XelnagaTheFirst Posted July 11, 2002 Report Posted July 11, 2002 Sabre your my bro its great to see you applied as I did, though certain people do not take me seriously :/. Here to stay is the hermit you call bro. Sabre your forever my bro no matter what. Later Good to see you good friend Xelnaga "Dreams are made winding through her hair."
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