Guest Xradion Posted August 30, 2002 Report Posted August 30, 2002 Broken bicycle spokes choke The silence that surrounds us. Water screams in agony As the sky splits open And bleeds acid rain. The wound runs deep. Hearts encased in plastic Lie in an eternal sleep. The glass spider glides Down gleaming translucent threads, Weaving webs of death; An intricate system Of fiber-optic cables. The wound runs deep. Hearts encased in plastic Lie in an eternal sleep. Dis-chords of Cardinal Syn-phonic fantasy Resound, Filling the air With emptyness. The wound runs deep. Hearts encased in plastic Lie in eternal sleep. The night weeps Tears of sunshine For her fallen children. The concrete rose Shatters, Spreading spores Throughout the land. The wound runs deep. Hearts encased in plastic Lie in an eternal sleep. Yet one can still see That relentless red Pulsate Beneath it’s synthetic shell. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion
Guest Rezure Posted September 1, 2002 Report Posted September 1, 2002 I don't like it. I suppose that's the point. But even if I pretend to know that, I still don't like it. Sorry I have to agree with the general message of it as it seems to me - that although fears of machinization of life are not completely baseless, you probably can never fully take away the life-ness of it. ===Rezure===
Guest Xradion Posted September 1, 2002 Report Posted September 1, 2002 Thanks for your comments, Rezure. I'm glad that you're honest. If you don't like it, you don't like it. That doesn't mean that you're hating, and I appreciate you sharing your sentiments about my poetry. Strangely, I liked this poem more when I wrote it, but it leaves one with a sense of emptyness. While this was partly the point, I myself recognize that the repetition of the "Chorus" grows tiresome, and the images seem scattered and bleak. While this is partly the point, my supposed "hopeful ending note" isn't quite as hopeful as it is meant to sound, and this isn't really the best constructed poem I've every written. Still, I felt the need to post it, and I'm glad you took the time to read it. I was just doing some experimentation with image poetry. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion
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