Falcon2001 Posted July 9, 2002 Report Posted July 9, 2002 A need deep within Clawing it's way out A need that's familiar And not, all the same A whisper inside me Telling me to do it It being unknown to Me and my soul What must I do? Why do I feel this Way, compelled to be Different and moved A need for help A need for God knows why or when Shamelessly futile Deeper to the top Surfacing my soul Bringing light in To the cobwebs So pure, filthy To the gentle touch, The suicide calm Of the darken night Like steely water Under heaven's air Filled with longing For a known mystery Ghosts of dawn they Flitter past like Cobwebs of hate in A ruined life Existence, why? Never formed inside A helpless thought Kidnapped, beaten Every promise, empty The lies so full of Pain and suffering Sweet like honey I clutch at myself Feel me fading fast Now I forgive me And wonder why
Rahsash Geldich Posted July 9, 2002 Report Posted July 9, 2002 Eloquent as always, I admire the structure you find without rhyming. I like how you seperated the lines, they seemed to have more meaning than running them in one long phrase. Very nice.
Guest Xradion Posted July 12, 2002 Report Posted July 12, 2002 Great use of imagery. Even the title itself made me think of Earth, purgatory (both metaphorically and literally), and the Great Serpent rising from the depths of the ocean for the final battle of Armaggeddon. Interesting how this poem portrays a nihilistic sort of view of existance as a whole, yet at the same time, is ultimately quite an introspective poem, probing into the inner nature of your own woes. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion
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