reverie Posted June 28, 2002 Report Posted June 28, 2002 just got the itch... gentlemen start the clock... Weary are the the hands that hold the loftly one's so high and bold... To lift you up so far and high Think not upon the one's that died... Keep standing tall, since all you see Are lovely happy tragidies... And the shatter hearts you sank into the ground Will never reach you, or make you frown... -time-... revery the dreamlost... "i love everyone, except the people i hate..." the dream continues... Edited by: reverie at: 6/28/02 7:31:54 pm
Peredhil Posted June 29, 2002 Report Posted June 29, 2002 How neat! I love a good stream of conscious improv. you do it well!
Guest Xradion Posted July 1, 2002 Report Posted July 1, 2002 True indeed. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion
reverie Posted June 26, 2005 Author Report Posted June 26, 2005 ***eh, got bored, decided to clean up the rhythm*** Weary are the the hands that hold the loftly one's so high and bold... To lift you up so far and high Think not upon the one's that die... Keep standing tall, since all you see Are lovely happy tragidies... And shattered hearts, sank in the ground Will never reach, or make you frown...
Ayshela Posted June 26, 2005 Report Posted June 26, 2005 comments in bold: Weary are the the hands that hold the loftly (lofty?) one's (plural or possessive? i don't think you need the apostrophe here.) so high and bold... To lift you up so far and high Think not upon the one's (apostrophe again, this is plural?) that die... Keep standing tall, since all you see Are lovely happy tragidies... (tragedies) (I love the conflict here - lovely happy tragedies. nicely done) And shattered hearts, sank (sunk?) in the ground Will never reach, or make you frown... thought provoking. i like this.
reverie Posted June 27, 2005 Author Report Posted June 27, 2005 (edited) i just love it when you all catch the things i miss... will fix... oh, and i just like loftly... it was an improvisation after all. but ya know, "ppl that think their elevated over other ppl or having a haughtly/overbearing nature" *** Weary are the the hands that hold the loftly ones so high and bold... To lift you up so far and high Think not upon the ones that die... Keep standing tall, since all you see Are lovely happy tragedies... And shattered hearts, sunk in the ground Will never reach, or make you frown... Edited June 27, 2005 by reverie
reverie Posted March 29, 2006 Author Report Posted March 29, 2006 28 March 06 Weary are the the hands that hold The loftly one so high and bold To lift him up so far and high think not upon the ones that die. Keep standing tall, since all you see Are lovely happy tragedies. And shattered hearts, sunk in the ground Will never reach, or make you frown.
Ayshela Posted March 29, 2006 Report Posted March 29, 2006 *nods* narrowed to a singular, it's much more personal and easier to make associations. i've always liked this one, and appreciate seeing the changes as you go through it.
reverie Posted March 30, 2006 Author Report Posted March 30, 2006 oh thanks, I actually didn't mean to repost it in the Banquet Room though, I was just raiding my poems links list in my piazza portrait for inspiration when I ran across this one again. I thought it would repost in the workshop. Hmm, I must have wrote this one before I started using the workshop. Anyway, I've always liked it too. I miss the sing-songly quality that most my earlier poems seem to have. Things were simpler then... rev...
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