Rahsash Geldich Posted June 7, 2002 Report Posted June 7, 2002 As I read those words again, Sprawled upon the screen. Background swirling gently The script all written green. I wonder at their meaning, The why behind the rhyme What had made them feel such In that place and time? And I shudder as I read the author And recognize the name as mine. Why do I feel all of this? I have very little reason. But my stories seem to course When my poetry is out of season. And sometimes I have this fear That creeps along my spine. That one day my parents will find That this blackness all is mine. And I know with a sickening feeling I've been lying all this time They think I'm just rebelling, But I'm crying for their praise. I'm not sure that they don't know If they do, they haven't shown in days They don't realise how shattered How easily broken I really am. And how with their 'advice' They can easily condemn. Maybe they're just speaking English And I'm speaking some tai dam.
reverie Posted June 7, 2002 Report Posted June 7, 2002 i like this one... I always find it fun when we start to write something one way... then other things just start bubbling up demanding to be recognized... Oh and of course, most of us are aware, though rarely admit it, how much a loved one's few words of phrase, indifference, or disdain can affect us so... kewl stuff... revery the dreamlost... Edited by: reverie at: 6/8/02 6:37:48 am
Wyvern Posted June 9, 2002 Report Posted June 9, 2002 A heart felt piece of poetry, and one which directly states it's themes (so no need for me to over-analyze again ;p). Continue writing and developing your talents... there is no way they'll go unnoticed by your loved ones forever. [image]http://members.shaw.ca/kea/am/wyvy.jpg[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Edited by: Wyvern00 at: 6/9/02 1:47:59 am
Nyyark Posted June 9, 2002 Report Posted June 9, 2002 Emotionally, your loved ones can only hurt you as long as you let them. I think that they're able to cause you pain shows just how much you care. I don't know if I agree with Wyvern's optimistic statement. I do think your a great writer, but some people can't ever appreciate wonderful things. Perhaps rather than expecting a change on their part, you could change your approach. They might not be strong enough to change. I think you struck that chord with the last two lines.
Rahsash Geldich Posted June 10, 2002 Author Report Posted June 10, 2002 Its almost about how you can write, draw, something so strong, so important to you and they either don't understand, don't get how important it is to you, or overly criticize. But you understand also you've never told them, so how could they? And then you wonder if they would understand if they did, and you know by some means, that they won't, or rather, Can't.
Nyyark Posted June 10, 2002 Report Posted June 10, 2002 Know that Blood wouldn't hurt itself like that willingly. Slaves of Selfishness commit many terrible deeds. The only way to be free is to change your audience. They are not ready for you to succeed yet, let them grow a bit, and then maybe they can appreciate how much you have.
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