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Waiting in Shades of Pale


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Guest Heart Like A Hole
Posted

I know it seems like I haven't posted in forever, but I've been busy... And now I have finally done it! I graduated high school! *throws confetti around and cheers for herself, then realizes everyone is staring and goes back to what she was saying* In any case, for those of you who "knew me when" during my posting times on AM may have read what I've posted of "Gutter Nymphs". Well, unfortunately, I won't be able to post any more of it online because..... It's going to be turned into a novel and published! I've gotten the attention of a few publishing companies, and once I've got this lady finished, she is going to be sold and published professionally, my first (and hopefully not last) step towards becoming a full-time novelist. Yay!

 

All right, that said, I also got off my lazy arse and wrote a poem which I thought I'd share online.

 

~Porcelain

"Heart Like A Hole"

 

pale, i would follow you

into depths of madness too rich for moral use

and i'd skin myself willingly

to draw you nearer

to this unbeating heart

dead for so long

that no razor-kiss will kindle

the spark of human life

 

bloodless, i trace the lines of my veins

waiting for you to answer my call

hungry, i feed on the flesh which clings

desperate to bastard bones

that are my own

you named me so sweetly

and timid, i believed naively

that what had always came to pass

would leave me at last

but pale, i stand still

crying liquid death

down cheeks grown cold without you

 

nothing is true but your infinity

that stretches before me, tempting

my soul into faith which will be broken

by another silence too fierce to penetrate

with blood or skin or razor so eager

i'd cut out my tongue to end this scream

rising from my throat and ling'ring still

 

the blades of razors make love in my womb

and i birth the seed of my own needs

cursing my undead heart

sitting quietly, hungrily and pale

wanting to follow you

waiting to fall into your depravity

that will never have me

as you escape the echo of my aching call again

Posted

First of all, congratulations on graduating and getting "Gutter Nymphs" published! It's certainly an excellent story and it's always great to see writers here succeed. Anyway, expect me to be one of the first buyers. ;p

 

Onto "Waiting in Shades of Pale"... Very interesting poem. It has a very sombre and almost horrific tone that adds to the overall dark and depressing atmosphere of the poem. I thought the use of reacurring clusters of images, particularly those of razors, blood, and paleness, were well done. The poem ends on a desperate and hollow note, with the line "as you escape the echo of my aching call again". This points towards the theme of the poem, which, in my opinion, centers around the narrator's lost love and the abusive tendencies it's caused her to produce.

 

 

 

[image]http://members.shaw.ca/kea/am/wyvy.jpg[/image]

 

------------------------------

Almost a Dragon...

"My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense"

 

 

Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze.

Edited by: Wyvern00  at: 6/2/02 11:23:05 pm

Guest Xradion
Posted

        Wyvern pretty much covered everything that I had to say. I also really liked the use of the line "the blades of razors make love in my womb /and I birth the seed of my own needs." Interesting self-destructive image with a combination of birth (creation) and the razor blades (destruction).

 

 

 

 

Xradion,

The Horny Druid,

Scholar of the Ancient Arts,

Holder of the Eye of Odin.

 

"The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream."

-Wallace Stevens

 

"When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion

Posted

It speak in colors, Red of blood, pain and hate, black of remorse and pain, and white, which although it usually signifies purity, you turn into hopelessness. Very well done with the imagery ::As soon as she realises she was babbling in her colors talk, she blushes & makes an exit before she does so again::

 

Very nice

Posted

Peredhil sneaks online for a moment, dodging his studies.

 

Wonderful wonderful news on graduation!

 

He hugs her.

 

Even better news on publication!

 

He hugs her again.

 

I'm so terribly proud of you! See, at the risk of saying I told you so - I told you so! You ARE that good!

 

Continue to believe in yourself and grow.

 

-Peredhil

Posted

YAY! Happy Graduation, Porcelain, m'dear! Have a wonderful life, and remember that the nakedness of the human heart is what counts most in this crazy world. But you already knew that.

Cioden Darkeye

 

Quill-Bearer - The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

President of the Peredhil Fan Club

Owner of the Reply Raven - Enemy to all those who never post responses

Ashaman - WoT - Blitz II

Council - The Hunters - Blitz II

Leisure Officer - SFV Ultima - Beta

Guest Heart Like A Hole
Posted

Thank you all for the responses to the poem. It's always good to get feedback, since I'm going to try and have a collection of my poetry published once Gutter Nymphs is on the shelves. And this is going to be one crazy summer because Dave and I have finally set a date... July 17th. So with a little patience, I'll finally have set my life in order, and who knows? Maybe you'll find a few more upbeat poems in my various collections of prose from here on in. Once again, thank you all! I couldn't have made it this far without the encouragement and feedback you gracious folks have always given me.

 

~Porcelain

Posted

Excellent poetry, as always ^.^ Congrats on graduating- I don't know one person who doesn't enjoy getting out of high school, so I'm sure it's quite the joyous occassion And as for getting published, that's the best news of all, and add me to the list of people to buy your book right away ^.^ Keep it up!

BigPointyStick

 

-----------------

 

Wielder of the BPS

Companion of Mr.Bunny

 

"I can throw knives!"

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