Nyyark Posted May 23, 2002 Report Posted May 23, 2002 A magic spring, surround by stones A well of sorts. This is what I found While Jogging in My jogging shorts. Random impulse took control and my money flew Into the watery hole "Splash! Crash! What The!" Roared the black abyss Before my toes "super powers" I cried at my now animated water table pore "yes sir coming right up" Zoom, Lazer eyes Blast, speed of light Zip, Kabang, Kurbob Cat teeth, night sight cool hair, strength of might! Strutting like a photon I flex and the world is gone Haha I'm cool! Edited by: Nyyark at: 5/23/02 2:08:51 pm
Wyvern Posted May 23, 2002 Report Posted May 23, 2002 A comic poem, and a pretty funny read after dredging through countless deep and meaningfull ones. While I can't say I like the poem very much, I do admire your usage of comic book sound effects (i.e "Zip, Kabang, Kurbob") to encapture the feel of a day dream. Keep up the writing. [image]http://members.shaw.ca/kea/am/wyvy.jpg[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze. Edited by: Wyvern00 at: 5/23/02 4:08:37 pm
Guest Xradion Posted May 24, 2002 Report Posted May 24, 2002 LOL! I tend to agree with Wyvern. Lot of nice onomotopoeia, though, as he said. A lighthearted poem for a nice pause from a stressful day, much as a daydream is. Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion
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