Guest Dragcor Warwick Posted May 17, 2002 Report Posted May 17, 2002 I seemed no different from the rest Just a healthy normal boy My mama always did her best And I was daddy's pride and joy I learned to walk and talk on time But never cared much to be held And steadily I would decline Into my solitary shell As a boy I was considered somewhat odd Kept to myself most of the time I would daydream in and out of my own world But in every other way I was fine I'm a Monday morning lunatic Disturbed from time to time Lost within myself In my solitary shell A temporary catatonic Madman on occasion When will I break out Of my solitary shell I struggled to get through my day I was helplessly behind I poured myself onto the page Writing for hours at a time As a man I was a danger to myself Fearful and sad most of the time I was drifting in and out of sanity But in every other way I was fine I'm a Monday morning lunatic Disturbed from time to time Lost within myself In my solitary shell A momentary maniac With casual delusions When will I be let out Of my solitary shell I'm alive again The darkness far behind me I'm invincible Despair will never find me I feel strong I've got a new sense of elation Boundless energy Euphoria fixation Still it's hard to just get by It seems so meaningless to try When all I want to do is cry Who would ever know I felt so sad Even though I get so high I know that I will never fly And when I fall out of the sky Who'll be standing by Will you be standing by
reverie Posted May 18, 2002 Report Posted May 18, 2002 **quietly appauds ** very true for some... A painful dagger , isn't it... Bittersweet with the bite of an addition... to put it bluntly the condition 'sux' and you capture it pretty well in your poem... Then you go on to, show a way to fight it, by agrresivily reversing your emotions... I always think of louie armstrongs exuberant stage presence in responce to his terrifying stage fright as an example of this... But it's a hard effort to maintain, when the sadness underneath saps your energy daily... i simpathsize... cheer up friend... if it hasn't already past, then i suggest putting you energies into others... Find them... The simplist and best advice i ever heard was from a korean boy that struggling with english, said to me, "to get a friend, be a friend" And i've found it to be true for the most part... revery the dreamlost Edited by: reverie at: 5/18/02 8:25:33 am
Guest Dragcor Warwick Posted May 19, 2002 Report Posted May 19, 2002 grumbles about getting pushed down the list without much feedback
Guest Jess Posted May 20, 2002 Report Posted May 20, 2002 You have eloqeuntly stated the problems that so many people... teenagers mostly... go through. Very good poem
Guest Xradion Posted May 21, 2002 Report Posted May 21, 2002 *Xradion hears strange grumbling sounds, and feels an odd simpathy seeing as he too would appreciate more feedback on some of his poems, but that's life, and people are busy.* Good poem. I'm sure that I have felt this way many times in my life, but I always manage to rebound somehow. I'm sure you will too. My only real criticism would be your word choice in line three of the second stanza (I know, I know, picky picky). I think I understand why you say "DECLINE into my shell," but it really doesn't convey quite the right image. While it fits with the image of "the fall" you describe at the end of this poem, the word really means to refuse, to fall, or to sink more than it does to recede into. I would suggest to you either "retreat" or "recoil" as an alternative. That's really my only suggestion. Take it or leave it. Regardless, I enjoyed this poem greatly. Keep it up! Xradion, The Horny Druid, Scholar of the Ancient Arts, Holder of the Eye of Odin. "The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream." -Wallace Stevens "When at home, do as the Homans do." –Xradion
Rahsash Geldich Posted May 21, 2002 Report Posted May 21, 2002 As we go into our solitary shell, Recoiling from an earthly hell, We need to rember we must strive To be a person, not just be alive For although the shell is a protection The perfect place for introspection The air inside is depressingly dank The thoughts are hateful, even rank. We absorb ourveslves in pointless acts Refusing to let ourselves face some facts While letting others eat at our soul Untill we feel that there is a hole. But the people that put us into our shell Are living in their hateful self-made hell. Know before another day is unfurled, There are better people than them in this world.
Peredhil Posted March 3, 2003 Report Posted March 3, 2003 This commentary was added by a Visitor to the Old Site: Saphron21. As a sidenote, Dragcor and excedrin are the same person. -Peredhil This was not an original poem as you can see. Look at other Dream Theater lyrics, and the same pattern might be seen. Not just by this "poet", but also by excedrin. Artist : Dream Theater Song : Solitary Shell Album : Submitted by : Nat Corrected by : dude Rated : 10.0 (24 votes) He seemed no different from the rest Just a healthy normal boy His mama always did her best And he was daddy's pride and joy He learned to walk and talk on time But never cared much to be held And steadily he would decline Into his solitary shell As a boy he was considered somewhat odd Kept to himself most of the time He would daydream in and out of his own world But in every other way he was fine He's a monday morning lunatic Distant from time to time Lost within himself In his solitary shell Temporary catatonic Madman on occasions When will he break out Of his solitary shell? (Music Interlude) He struggled to get through his day He was helplessly behind He poured himself onto the page Writing for hours at a time As a man he was a danger to himself Fearful and sad most of the time He was drifting in and out of seventeen But in every other way he was fine He's a monday morning lunatic Disturbed from time to time Lost within himself In his solitary shell Momentary maniac With casual dillusions When will he belittle Of his solitary shell? (Music Solo) Also, the album that most of the lyrics are off of, is Six Degrees of Inner Turbulence.
Recommended Posts