Annael Posted April 3, 2002 Report Posted April 3, 2002 A sigh and a gentle tear that's all that's left my sad heart fears. A smile and a soft caresse as you see me in that sinful dress. A kiss and a whispered plea as we dance where you hold me. A dream when you asked me to be with you and love was all I could see. A laugh and I quickly left work to return to you where I stood and my heart broke. A vision one never wants to see you with another person other then me. A sigh.... and that's all that's left....
Cyril Darkcloud Posted April 3, 2002 Report Posted April 3, 2002 A poem a dance of words upon a page left by your hand before my eyes. Your words and the feelings they invoke as my eyes move through their dance. A touch upon my own thoughts left by your hand and its dance of words. Very nicely done, Annael.
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted April 3, 2002 Report Posted April 3, 2002 A tale well worth the tell. Such a picture you paint. Very well done, indeed. A simple rythem, taken to the peak of effectivness. Bravo! -Seth Exodus Initiate of The Pen
Justin Silverblade Posted April 3, 2002 Report Posted April 3, 2002 *Gulp* "Aww... I... feel... so..." /me holds back the tears. ~It expresses itself nicely, Annael. Good work!~
Lady Celes Crusader Posted April 4, 2002 Report Posted April 4, 2002 My... its a 2 in one! Nice poem Annael and nice way to critic Cyril!
Ozymandias Posted April 4, 2002 Report Posted April 4, 2002 I admire anyone who can use a jarring element (in this case, lust- "A smile and a soft caresse as you see me in that sinful dress." And btw, I love that part! Smooth like buttah!) when writing about love and still keep in touch with the care, passion and purity of the emotion. Bravo!
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