Ozymandias Posted April 1, 2002 Report Posted April 1, 2002 Cherry blossoms in the dark as the police cars look on Even in the gloom they gleam and burst with color The bushes stand at rigid attention showing barest passive interest The houses stand, great artifacts that they are, wondrous and ancient mysteries to all but the few elder trees who preside over all with the same sober watchfulness as their brethren, though without the merriment of the children The flowers continue to pantomime, some shows lasting through the night Though most have closed up shop for a good night's rest The buildings of the ground have gone dark but the tenants can be heard through a greater hustle and bustle than any that happen in the day I drive through it slowly, taking it all in as my car slowly relaxes taking it all in through unfocused eyes simply enjoying the time of laziness The trees look at him and say nothing Though I swear that dogwood laughed We travel this way for a little while, we strangers in a strange land, just enjoying ourselves as everyone else, the joy of being Then the time comes to wave a fond farewell even my car seems to look at the receding city forlornly, but we both know that through too much moderation comes paralysis So we ride, back on our now black tracks across the wide, flat plains, pumping, racing for all we are worth; me, smiling in contentment, worries pushed aside and my car, favoring his hip every so often, but driving us on harder than I ever will for the sheer, ecstatic thrill of it.
Ozymandias Posted April 1, 2002 Author Report Posted April 1, 2002 Normally I hate replying to my own work, but now that I look at it, I think this is a story, not a poem. What do you think?
Gwaihir Posted April 1, 2002 Report Posted April 1, 2002 It kind of does feel like a story. (and a nice one too, though I never know what to say to stories : ) ---------- I want to be page 93 of Pineapples, the Avian Crows-Nyyark
Guest Heart Like A Hole Posted April 2, 2002 Report Posted April 2, 2002 It flows like a poem, but it tells a story - what my Cr. Wr. teacher likes to call a narrative poem. But whatever name we shall give it, it is quite well-written and has a razor-edge precision to its imagery. In short, I greatly enjoyed the piece. ~Porcelain "Heart Like A Hole"
Gyrfalcon Posted April 2, 2002 Report Posted April 2, 2002 *Gyr applauds* I like! Both a story and a poem, the best of both worlds. *grin*
Peredhil Posted April 2, 2002 Report Posted April 2, 2002 Peredhil reads the varied travelling meter, and lets the words carry him through the journey. Your Pory, err, Stoem, ummm, your thingie that started this thread - I like it.
Ozymandias Posted April 2, 2002 Author Report Posted April 2, 2002 *lol* Ozymandias bows. Thankee, one and all.
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