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The Pen is Mightier than the Sword

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Posted

Another English assignment, again Valentine's themed... We had to write a parody of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's most famous sonnet, How Do I Love Thee. Here's the original:

 

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, -- I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! -- and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

 

What follows is my version. Trust me to twist love to something so dark, eh? Btw, I wrote this from a certain person's pov... Can you see who?

 

How do I love you? Oh, let's count the ways.

I love you all as far and wide and high

As I can reach, my touch raises a cry

From all human Beings and their fallen Grace.

I love you to the measure of every eve's

Most violent price, by moon and dim starlight.

I love you helplessly, as men turn from Right;

I love you foully, as they misconceive;

I love you with the fury leaked from all

Your griefs, and with my immortal distrust;

I love you with the hate I beck and call

For eternity -- I love you for the lust,

Greed, pain, of all your lives! -- and, if God fall,

I will cease to love you, as now I must.

  • 3 weeks later...
Guest GrandMaster Zifnab
Posted

*Zifnab sets up a table with some food and drink,organises the bongo set and waits for the guests.*

 

"This is going to be the best parody ever!"

Guest Minta Rose
Posted

In flaps Haruchi's gift to Cerulean.

 

"Squawk! Polly wanna go-go cage! *whistles*"

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