Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted January 29, 2002 Report Posted January 29, 2002 Futile Love Deep into thy blue eyes staring, Wondering, doubting, dreaming, daring To delve into thy soul so deep, And look into thy true hearts keep. "What immortal hand or eye Could frame thy lovely symmetry?" Only God Himself could do that deed, And plant in you a dragon's seed. Clad in silks of blue and gold, Thou melt hearts both strong and bold. Thy skin is soft and milky white Thy face beams radiant and bright. Thy raven hair and ruby lips Accent the curves of breasts and hips. Thy love, for ages, have I sought, But all mine longings have come to naught. One glance from thee and my blood runs hot, Up my heart flares, just like a shot. But back into despair I sink, As thine heart with mine thy wilt not link. And though my love stands strong and true, I'll make but one request of you. That if thy must deny my heart, Let me, on my own, depart. Yours truly, Seth Exodus Initiate of The Pen
Rahsash Geldich Posted January 29, 2002 Report Posted January 29, 2002 Stereotypical maybe, but it has a timeless essence to it that I like. I also congratulate you on your use of thy's and thou's and thee's... I have the talent of a duck in that area lol
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted January 30, 2002 Report Posted January 30, 2002 Thanks you Rahsash,*bows* truth be told, I wrote it on the bus one morning. *grins* And I absolutely love the old achaic style of writting. I know I've not mastered it yet, but I'm on my way. Seth Exodus
Tralla Posted January 30, 2002 Report Posted January 30, 2002 Awww... and I ask again... Why can't I find a guy like that??? =D Fantastic poem, Seth... Melts me into a puddle of gooey-aww-warmth-ness.
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted January 30, 2002 Report Posted January 30, 2002 My, my, Tralla, if you make a reaction like that I may see it fit to show to a few lady friends of mine But, I thank you for your flattering reaction. -Seth Exodus
Justin Silverblade Posted January 30, 2002 Report Posted January 30, 2002 Now ya see Seth! And you said you weren't that good at poetry! Bah! A reaction like that would have me floating for weeks. I'm sure your other lady friends will love it too. It's a great poem too; I think you lied to me about the above-mentioned.
Guest Lord Seth Exodus Posted January 30, 2002 Report Posted January 30, 2002 Justin, my friend, the night is running late, and my mind has gone thick; some liberally applied wine should help that. *wink* But, for the moment you'll have to contend with my slow wit. You said I lied to you about the above mentioned; what exactly was mentioned above?
Justin Silverblade Posted January 31, 2002 Report Posted January 31, 2002 "...you said you weren't that good at poetry!"
Ozymandias Posted January 31, 2002 Report Posted January 31, 2002 To mix William Blake and William Shakespeare like that and not write like a sixth grader who's never heard of either of them, that takes skill!
Peredhil Posted February 5, 2002 Report Posted February 5, 2002 It flows well. Don't worry about Stereotypes. When you hit college, they teach you that: "Steal from one, it's plagarism. Steal from a thousand and it's a thesis paper." No one is truly original, everyone is inspired by something. As long as you let it all flow through the honesty filter of your heart, you'll be original enough. Don't forget to chech apostrophes and spelling - when someone's speed reading, mistakes act as a snare. I'm a sucker for the archaic though, Ancient as I am. I'm really happy to see you have literary talents to match your artistic ones. -Peredhil
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