Guest excedrin Posted January 29, 2002 Report Posted January 29, 2002 For too long now There were secrets in my mind For too long now There were things I should have said In the darkness, I was stumbling for the door To find a reason, to find the time, the place, the hour Waiting for the winter sun, and the cold light of day The misty ghosts of childhood fears The pressure is building and I can't stay away I throw myself into the sea Release the wave, let it wash over me To face the fear, I once believed The tears of the dragon, for you and for me Where I was I had wings that couldn't fly Where I was I had tears I couldn't cry My emotions frozen in an icy lake I couldn't feel them until the ice began to break I have no prayer over this, you know I'm afraid The walls I built are crumbling away The water is moving, I'm slipping away
Ozymandias Posted January 29, 2002 Report Posted January 29, 2002 But where are you now?? I like poetry that begs questions. :>)
Gyrfalcon Posted January 29, 2002 Report Posted January 29, 2002 *Gyr applauds* I like it quite a bit, though I do have to ask what this line means: The tears of the dragon, for you and for me Do dragons not shed tears? I'm unsure as to what this line means. *Gyr smiles* Still, I like it.
Falcon2001 Posted January 29, 2002 Report Posted January 29, 2002 Isn't Excedrin headache medicine? lol Great poem... l-o-l l--O--l l-l--O--l-l fleet of laughing fighters, enjoy! Cioden Darkeye Page of The Mighty Pen President of the Peredhil Fan Club Owner of the Reply Raven - Enemy to all those who never post responses Ashaman - WoT - Blitz II Council - The Hunters - Blitz II Leisure Officer - SFV Ultima - Beta
Rahsash Geldich Posted January 29, 2002 Report Posted January 29, 2002 I really like that! Keep it up!
Wyvern Posted January 30, 2002 Report Posted January 30, 2002 An interesting poem, Excederin. Abandones traditional rhyming schemes for a more free-verse form of poetry, although the BAB schema is used for verses 3, 5, and 6. Throughout this poem, several images of helplessness and defeat are portrayed... These ultimatly lead to what I believe the principle theme of the poem to be: the narrator's acceptance of his weaknesses and the feelings of defeat and hopelessness that come about from this realization. One place in the poem where weakness is shown is when the narrator states "I had wings that couldn't fly... I had tears I couldn't cry." as well as when he notes "There were secrets in my mind... There were things I should have done..." Perhaps the lines that best point to the theme, however, are the two last lines in which the narrator states "The walls I built are crumbling away/ the water is moving, I'm slipping away" Here, in order to face his fears and weaknesses, the narrator has thrown himself into the waters of the ocean... yet even in this free-body mass he has little, if any, freedom. Instead, he succumbs to the ocean, and it is the water and the waves that push him away. Thus the poem ends with a certain motif of defeat... Well done Excederin. I look forward to reading more of your poetry... [image]http://www.legion-whiterose.com/signatures/aoa/wyv.gif[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze.
Tralla Posted January 30, 2002 Report Posted January 30, 2002 Hm... already said this, but... I love your poetry, and I can't figure out why (in a good way.) There's just something very very nifty about it.
Peredhil Posted February 5, 2002 Report Posted February 5, 2002 Good work, happy to see you posting so much. Your raw honest emotion evokes a like response in the reader. Your strong word choice amplifies that. This song (for so I hear it in my inner ear,) gives a lighthouse beacon to those who are emotionally frozen in an icy disaster. The thaw will come. Good job. -Peredhil
Peredhil Posted March 4, 2003 Report Posted March 4, 2003 This was originally written by Bruce Dickinson on his Balls to Picasso (1994) album, song: Tears Of The Dragon. Find it here
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