Guest Signe Green Posted January 14, 2002 Report Posted January 14, 2002 haven't written much of anything for a while so although this is not my best work I'll post it anyways. There's a siren's call in darkness There's a lover in the deep There's an appeal in raving madness It whispers me to sleep Strange pleasures in self destruction Sweet flatteries of pain Singing of seduction With it's inevitable shame Signe's Homepage
Gyrfalcon Posted January 14, 2002 Report Posted January 14, 2002 *Gyr applauds* Hmm... except for the last two lines, it reminds me a lot of Gloria (and no, I'm not prodding for you to work on the story, it just reminds me of her and her voices. *grins*) Very nice-- I'm glad to see you writing again. =)
Guest Balladore Posted January 15, 2002 Report Posted January 15, 2002 Beautiful work, Kimberly. I'm glad to hear that you're writing again. *Smiles* Welcome back.
Wyvern Posted January 19, 2002 Report Posted January 19, 2002 A short yet strikingly powerfull piece written in the classic 'ABAB' rhyming format. Most apparent in this poem is the use of seemingly contradictory images in the same lines: "appeal in raving madness", "pleasures in self destruction", and "sweet flatteries of pain" being the most notable three. The last two lines seem to be those that ultimatly lead to the theme of the poem, as they speak of the inevitable shame of seduction. As I see it, the theme of the poem is centered around the ultimate feelings of madness and pain brought about by seduction. The mentioning of a siren at the beginning of the poem (a creature that seduces others with it's voice, for those that don't know their mythology) further aludes to this theme. In addition, the mingled images of pleasure and pain, which can represent seduction and it's outcome, also point towards the poem's theme. For this reason, I vote "Seduction" for the poem's title. Very good poem, I eagerly await more of your works. [image]http://www.legion-whiterose.com/signatures/aoa/wyv.gif[/image] ------------------------------ Almost a Dragon... "My life is one big crime, I try to scheme through it." -Common, "The 6th Sense" Owner of the Decanter of Endless Booze.
Gwaihir Posted January 19, 2002 Report Posted January 19, 2002 I like the slight change brought about by the last line.
Peredhil Posted February 5, 2002 Report Posted February 5, 2002 The reassuring paths of self destruction. At least the pleaures give momentary relief from the constant pains. And one knows what to expect - there are no terrible surprises, just the heavy sigh of recognition. Sometimes healing isn't the hard part - it's learning to live with the emptiness of loss. Pain can give identity, can be resisted for strength, can provide inspiration, can provide an excuse. When pain is the moon in one's world, finding a new light to carry one through the night'semptiness can be a challenge... -Pendantic Peredhil
The Portrait of Zool Posted February 6, 2002 Report Posted February 6, 2002 Amen. ~Zool~ Ancient, The Pen is Mightier than the Sword. Bard of Terra, Patron Saint of Aspiring Bards. Elder than dirt, more foolish than a jester, able to trip over the smallest logic in a single step. It's... Oh, you know.
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