Priorities

[Zadown]

        I seek fire

 

        I would like to draw a picture with it

        fill a waiting space with words

        paint my views for others to see

 

        the oven clinks

        food is ready

 

        I let the inspiration wait

[Katzaniel]

This is a neat piece, and I imagine we all know what this is like. So many things to write, if only we had the time, but real life will intrude at the worst times.

 

I like the imagery, speaking of fire first draws a picture very well, especially when you talk of using the fire to draw a picture. Then you speak of words, a waiting space and well, I'm just repeating words from the poem now, but I like the ones you chose. You do very well what you're describing wanting to do.

 

The abrupt change of pace also fits well with your intentions, and the abrupt end with the word "wait" - we almost feel we should be waiting for more. Waiting, perhaps, for you to finish what you're doing.

 

Kudos. Good, simple, expressive piece.

 

 

PS. How do you get indents like that?

Edited December 12, 2004 by Katzaniel

[Zadown]

Thanks for the warm fuzzy feeling, Katz - I can always use them here in the cold dark North.

 

PS. No idea, as you can see if you check my recent poems (they huddle near the left border) - perhaps this one was transported from EzBoards?

[Peredhil]

What a little gem.

 

Glad it bumped up; I missed it the first time.