Orlan Posted October 22, 2001 Report Posted October 22, 2001 ...Or Minta go Bedtime NOW! Whatever floats your boat... “No ifs, ands or butts, young missie, Rydia told me that you go to bed now, you go to BED!” Orlan said as he tucked Minta into bed. The little girl sniffled at Orlan. “No that’s meanie!” Minta cried out. She flung her arms in a slight tantrum but stopped as Orlan’s stone gaze fell upon her. She gave a small frown up to Orlan, on the verge of tears. Orlan was not equipped for this at all. The Sexy Sexy Man sighed once. “Well, we can’t do anything about your bedtime, but as long as you’re IN bed, Rydia should continue to let me see Tzimfemme without castrating me.” Orlan shook his head slightly and finished tucking Minta in. He bent down and kissed the sweet little hellion on the forehead. “Promise me you’ll be good, honey.” “Tell me a bedtime story then!” Minta said, clapping his hands together. Orlan raised his eyebrows and looked slyly at Minta. “A bedtime story?” he said sounding speculative and joking a little. “I lead a pretty boring life, I don’t know many exciting stories.” “Liar, liar pants on fire! Tzimfemme has told me stories about you!” Orlan’s gaze shot around to Minta again. “Uh…what does she say?” Orlan said, his interest now peaked. “Tell me a story and I’ll tell YOU what she said!” Minta said, bargaining. Orlan laughed out loud. “Oh you’re a little manipulative…..ah well…I guess I can tell one story…then out with the gossip, k?” Minta nodded to Orlan. Orlan pulled up a chair and sat down looking down at Minta. Orlan stroked his chin and pondered for a moment. “Well, this story is called ‘The Zombie’s Adventure”,” Orlan said. “Yay!” Minta said. Orlan smiled down at her. “Yup, this is a story about the Zombie King called Rob….Now Rob was a happy zombie who ruled the wonderful zombie world, and he was happy for many reasons. But, the wonderful zombie world was not all happy now….for there was an EVIL Ascendant mage who didn’t like the happy zombies…his name was…uh…SCHMENDRICKE!” Orlan stood up and yanked the chair out from under him and spun around. AS he spun his black cloak melted away and before Minta stood an ugly old white mage in a long white robe. He looked down and growled on Minta, and she pulled the blanket up to her eyes, scared of the evil one. “ ‘Zombie’s can’t be HAPPY! Not as long as they enjoy their lives without the U! I’m not going to let them live without being Zoumbies!’ cried out Schmendricke. But Rob was not going to go along with Schmendricke’s plan and call himself Roub. So what do you think Roub did?” Orlan asked. “He went looking for sparklydragons!” Minta yelled. “That’s right!” Orlan said as he spun again, becoming an amazingly well groomed and good looking Zombie. “ ‘Oh no no no,’ Rob said, ‘I’m not letting some yahoo come in here and add U’s to everything! I know, I’ll find the queen of the Sparklydragons! She’ll know what we can do!’ and so Rob went in search of the sparklydragon queen. He braved the many perils that he faced until he finally arrived at the land of the sparklydragons. The sparklydragons brought him forth before the queen….do you know who the queen was?” Minta looked wide-eyed in wonder at Orlan and shook her head quickly. Orlan grinned and said in a low voice, “Minta…” Minta’s eyes shot open and her mouth dropped open. Orlan’s fingers flicked and he spun out a web of magic over Minta. Minta’s clothes changed into regal ropes, and a tiara of diamond-studded spraklydragons appeared atop her head. Orlan, still in Rob Zombie form, dropped to a knee in front of Minta. “ “Oh wonderful queen of the sparklydragons!’ cried out Rob, ‘Help me please, only you have the power enough to stop the evil Schmendricke! Only you can drive his evil U’s from this place….will you help us?’” Orlan took Minta’s hand into his own. Minta, mouth still agape, nodded furiously. Orlan took Minta into his arms and spun out the web of magic more and more. The room changed into a starry sky and Orlan started flying through it, with Minta in his arms. Behind him flew thousand upon thousand of sparklydragons. Minta looked over Rob/Orlan’s shoulder and waved her scepter at the sparklydragons and they turned and spun to her will. She giggled and clapped her hands together, causing some of the sparklydragons to smack into each other. Orlan/Rob took Minta and her legions of sparklydragons down to Schmendricke’s castle, finding the evil Ascendant mage in his two bedroom, upstairs loft in the middle of the ghetto. “ ‘We’re here to stop you and your evil U’s Schmendricke!’” Orlan cried out at the apparition of Schmendricke which stood before them. The evil Schmendricke laughed. “Youu’re never gouing touou get away with anything stupid! I shall rule this land and all the zoumbies will fall to me, fourever!” With that he cast out a spell, sending millions of tiny “U”s out at them. The sparklydragons all flew to protect their queen, being struck by the various “U”s, morphing into sparklydragouns. “No!” cried out Minta, outrage dancing across her face. “Minta! Only you can stop him…only you know how!” Orlan cried out from behind her. Minta thought for a moment and then a look of recognition danced across her face. She reached into her regal robes and pulled out something, holding it high. It was the only power in the world that could defeat the evil “U”s. A Pixy Stick! “No!” gasped the evil Schmendricke. Minta tossed out the Pixy Stick, the small crystals of pure unadulterated sugar slammed into the evil line of “U”s, stopping in, a large flash of power struck out in every direction as the waves clashed. Though the “U”s were still winning. “Put all the power you can into the SUGAR, Minta!” Orlan cried out in Rob’s voice. “Save the Zombies!” Minta closed her eyes and put all the strength she could muster into the wave. A small spark, and then an incinerating wave of light shot out from the two waves as the sugar won the battle and engulfed the evil Schmendricke and all his “U”s, sending them into the oblivion (Europe where they use those stupid “U”s for some god forsaken reason…). Rob/Orlan ran up to Minta, catching her just as she fell down from exhaustion. “Oh thank you, Queen of the Sparklydragons! You’ve saved us all!” Yet Minta was out light a light. Orlan grinned and picked her tiny form up and let the web of magic fall. The room returned to it’s original form, and Orlan walked over and tucked Minta into bed. When she was dreaming snugly, Orlan bent down and kissed her forehead. A small, quiet laugh caught his attention. He turned to his left and Tzimfemme stood in the doorway. Orlan flashed her a grin. “I guess I’ll have to find out what the gossip on you was later then,” he said. Tzimfemme sauntered over to Orlan; his attention glued to her every move. She reached out and took hold of his cloak, and pulled him to her. “I can always *show* you what the “gossip” is…” She said, as she let go of him and sauntered out, hips swaying as hypnotic as ever. Orlan watched for a little bit after she has left for their room. He then stood up straight, grinned widely. “It’s good to be the king…”
Peredhil Posted June 2, 2003 Report Posted June 2, 2003 This is truly a classic! And I'm moving it to the Assembly Room where it belongs, in hopes that many will admire it.
Aardvark Posted June 3, 2003 Report Posted June 3, 2003 Just because your forefathers corrupted your language in a bitter attempt at spiting a bunch of englishmen, doesn't mean you have to write anti-Uitic propaganda, using everyone's favourite caffeinated munchkin as a tool to further your Uist ends The revolution is almost upon yoU, my friend. Soon, those within your borders who embrace the Universe shall rise up against yoU, weakening your nation's resolve, preparing it for invasion from the U loving nations of the earth
HappyBuddha Posted June 3, 2003 Report Posted June 3, 2003 Poor Kendricke, he catches so much flak for that U...I sometimes spell humor "humour", just to bugger him
Peredhil Posted June 3, 2003 Report Posted June 3, 2003 but Happy Budda! Blinks in innocent confusion. How can we have humour without U? U rox04!
Kasmandre Posted June 4, 2003 Report Posted June 4, 2003 Wonderful. It proves what I've always known: "A perfect world is one without U." Great story.
Ayshela Posted June 4, 2003 Report Posted June 4, 2003 (hmmmm... i can think of a few people that could be said about. oh, wait, you meant.. never mind!)
Tasslehoff Posted June 4, 2003 Report Posted June 4, 2003 That was a really damn good story right there. I enjoyed that much
Illianna Wolfsong Posted June 12, 2003 Report Posted June 12, 2003 *cheers Orlan* That was absoulutely delightfuul!
WrenWind Posted June 12, 2003 Report Posted June 12, 2003 *chuckles* lovely story full of colour and humour
Ayshela Posted June 12, 2003 Report Posted June 12, 2003 (finally, someone else who spells it *right*) *giggle*
Orlan Posted June 12, 2003 Author Report Posted June 12, 2003 NEVER!! I shall defeat the UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! Or not.....whatever I'm cool with it. Word.
Zariah Posted May 5, 2005 Report Posted May 5, 2005 I really liked this! I think it could be turned into an animation! So cool!
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