A Page Party!

[Nyyark]

While Crow is busy leading in the cleaning of the large keep, Nyyark is found plastering posters on the walls of the many rooms in the Pen. They read:

Come one, come all in Celebration!

Nyyark is hosting a party in honor of all the newly promoted Pages.

It will be at Nyyark's keep Nythtyrdal.

(If you don't know the way, ask the nearest crow.)

The party is ABSOLUTELY FREE!!! (To Pages)

So come and enjoy!

As he plasters his last poster, there is a sharp flash, and then a *THUD*.

 

Nyyark turns to find a knife with a note impaled on it sticking out of the wall. Whirling around, he sees an open window, with curtains flapping in the breeze. Yanking the knife out of the wall, and he mutters under his breath as it clatters to the floor.

 

Nyyark retrieves the knife, and pulls from it the note. Written in watery red ink, it read:

 

We'll Be There.

It was signed:

Dojo Ninja Dance Club

 

Yet again the knife clatters to the floor.

 

"Dojo Ninja Dance Club," Nyyark says in a trance.

 

Although they were some of the best ninja dancers in the world, with them comes the intense rivalry of the second best.

 

The second best dancer is kicked out of the Dojo, and is always stalking Dojo members, waiting for the chance to defeat the prize student and maybe the Dojo Dance Master in a glorious battle of the dancers. It helped to keep them on their toes.

 

"Dancing Ninjas. My first party and there's going to be dancing Ninjas," Nyyark moans to no one, "Why, oh why..."

 

Snapping to his senses Nyyark hides the dagger, and pockets the note.

 

"I have to hurry back to warn Crow!"

[Nyyark]

Bursting into the tower hall, Nyyark exclaims "Crow! the Dojo Ninja Dance Club, they-"

 

"Kaaa!" (There's no time for that now, the party has started) Caws Crow.

 

"But-" Nyyark is interuppted by a familiar beat.

 

Without thought his body moves, performing the ritualistic motions of the Macarena.

 

"Bop ba ba ba Bap ba ba ba Bop ba ba ba ba..."

[Falcon2001]

Cioden tried to sneak in after the alchohol, but the Quill-Bearer belt-buckle he just bought screwed him over.

 

Turning from the large doorman, he brought out his sword and crossed himself. Spinning, he whacked the doorman across the side of the head, knocking him to the floor.

 

Alarms sounded, and Cioden muttered something to himself.

 

"Poop."

 

Running ahead, he flung sleep spells at all those who got in his way until he found Nyyark in his room. Smiling evilly, he drew out a long slim dagger with a ebon handle and a 3/4 foot steel blade only about an inch wide. Flipping it in the air, he drew out a piece of paper and threw it under the spinning knife.

 

Falling to the ground, the knife impaled the paper. Cioden smiled and spun around, kicking the knife. Paper and blade hurtled toward Nyyark at blinding speed. When he opened his eyes, he saw the knife sticking out of the the wall millimeters from his head.

 

Cioden cocked his head, laughed roguishly and grinned. "That's a greeting, Nyyark, and a good one it is too."

 

Turning, he dove headfirst into a shadow and dissapeared.

 

Nyyark pulled the knife out of the wall and folded it up. Scanning the note, he read the contents aloud.

 

"That knife's a present, boy, use it wisely. Also, I need to get in touch with you. silvertrip_2001@yahoo.com - Email me or I might come back."

 

"Your friend in the shadows, Cioden Darkeye"

 

OOC: Email me, Nyyark, I need to get in touch with you.

[Nyyark]

TimeShift posted,

*A somewhat short boy, about 13, with a semi-light-blue-cloak, billowing pants, and brown lustrous hair that falls to his waist, is wandering the halls, after carefully reading the posters in the pen. He is searching (not successfully) for Nyaark's party. He is quite lost. With a happy, innocent, curious, smile upon his face, he approaches a crow for directions.

 

"Excuse me sir, I-"

 

"CAW!"

 

"...excuse me?" His smile starts to fade.

 

"CAAAAAAW!!!!"

 

"..."

 

"CAW....." The crow began to lift a wing, and pointed to a nearby hall. TimeShift leaned forward, to hear a faint echo from the hall. A broad smile came upon his face, as the echo was recognized as a far-off Macarena song. TimeShift thanked the crow, and bid him well, and walked toward the faint sounds off the Macarena. As he approaches the room he realizes no one is actually here. Only a very excited Nyaark stands there, showing off his dance steps to the Macarena. He strides over to Nyaark, raises a curious finger, and says:

 

"Umm...I'm the artist you called for. I was wonderi-"

 

"can't talk now! busy!...duhduhduhduh...HEEEEEEEEEEY MACARENA!!! He said with a spin.

 

TimeShift let out a sigh, and strode over to one of the darkened corners to prepare his art stand....a crow flies over with a crow cookie and lays it in TimeShift's lap. He picks it up and nibbles on it.

 

"Ughhhhh....crow flavor..."

Nyyark posted,

 

In Nyyark's room a confused Sudo-Nyyark pockets the note and dagger. He has a black long haired wig and a black cloth pulled over his face.

 

' I went to all that work,' thinks The Ninja, ' and this guy just walks in the front door.'

 

He steps out side the hall to find all the bouncer crows out cold.

 

' Perfect.' he thinks.

 

Meanwhile...

 

As Nyyark finishes the Macarena, he looks around to see who came to his party. Scattered about the room are his usual crow pals, and in the corner... TimeShift, the renown artist. Nyyark hopes to get a few of tonight's pictures. Other than TimeShift though, the party is bare. Nyyark begins to look dejected, but then a noise comes from the entrance hall.

 

A chicken rubber flops into the dance room, while it writhing to the beat of the music. Following it is a swarm of gnats, which Crow eyes with hunger. Then a small cat comes, and following it is a tiger. A bear leaps in after, and then a snake. Finally a dragon comes in, with a hoard of animals under its wings. They scatter about the dance room.

 

Nyyark's jaw drops, but then closes. This must be the author with so many incarnations that he is now known only collectively as Zoo. Nyyark head to make conversation, but the shadowy figures in the door catch his attention.

 

Strutting in the door is Orklan, the pig nosed 4'6 sexy sexy Ork. He had his arm wrapped around Himfemme, who is quiet naked. As the couple near, Nyyark quickly quits staring. Himfemme wasn't a naked woman, he was wearing a flesh colored leotard with all the right curves for a woman.

 

"Hoth it going Nyyark, looking good *snort snort*" shouts Orklan. Himfemme laughs a deep throaty laugh.

 

"Umm Ok, yo-you too Orklan" replies Nyyark.

 

A parasol hops its way over to Nyyark, saving Nyyark from this conversation.

 

"Excuse me, is this Nyyark's party?" asks the polite Parasol.

 

"Yes, I'm Nyyark." Responds Nyyark

 

"Do mind if I hang quietly on your coat rack?" asks Parasol.

 

"Not at all" says Nyyark

 

"Thank you," says Parasol.

[Jechum]

Jerc'em slips in...

 

Sees that he's out paged and

 

Jerc'em slips out...

[Peredhil]

Two small white mice dressed in poorly-fitting suits, obviously stolen from a Ken and Barbie doll set, scamper in squeaking nerviously.

 

Looking around, they spy their mystic Parasol, and quickly run their way over and then up the coat-rack to hide in the Parasol's Politely Protective folds.

[Wyvern]

At Nyyark's Page Party held in Nythtyrdal, a very strange crowd was gathering indeed... The irritated host Nyyark paces the room nervously, watching the various "festivities" that were currently taking place throughout the many rooms of his keep. Orklan was downing an entire bowl of punch in a single disgusting go while at the same time stuffing himself with several bags of chips (digesting the plastic containers along with the food inside them). Himfemme was doing something that probably was supposed to ressemble a table dance of some sort, but didn't have the appropriate body motions to look convincing. The Parasole, who was rather unaccustomed to parties, was desperatly trying to perform the Macerenna and in the process was knocking just about everybody on the dance floor out of his way to do so... Nyyark grits his teeth and wipes the sweat from his brow, looking towards the dance floor, then to Cioden juggeling knives, and then finally at a random person vomitting into the Pen's Community Chest. Things were getting rather out of hand...

 

Then, suddenly... a ray of hope! A beam of light, cutting through the churning depths of darkness circulating the party! The doors to Nyyark's keep are flung open by 20 men dressed in top hats, white suites, and black tap dancing shoes. The men tap dance into the keep, doing cartwheels and backflips while dragging in a long red carpet. Several trumpets are go off from all sides of the building, and all of those partying stop and stare as a little, run down 64' Chevy pulls up in front of the keep. Out of the Chevy steps none other then Wyvern, the Patron Saint of Parties, wearing a horrible looking glittery 70's disco outfit and poorly chosen set of shades. The overgrown lizard grins and steps out of the little vehicle onto the red carpet, pausing and throwing a finger up into the air in an unfashionable John Travolta-like manner for the cameras...

 

"Why did he come in that pathetic little vehicle rather then a limo...?" whispers Himfemme to Orklan, his/her eyebrows raising at the site of Wyvern's uncannily poor pose.

 

"Come on Himfemme...!" belches Orklan while ferociously chewing on a piece of lint "You know how he is with geld! The entrance services are already paid for since he's the Saint of Parties, but the cloths and transportation aren't!"

 

Wyvern grins broadly and takes two more steps towards the entrance of the party, pausing only to do yet another Jonny Bravo-esque pose. The flashes of several cameras going off can be seen once again... Finally, Wyvern reaches the entrance and is about to walk in when one of the guards (now recovered from his sleep) stops him at the door.

 

"Greetings Mr. Wyvern..." the guard says happily "As I recall, you aren't a page?"

 

"Damn straight I ain't!" exclaims Wyvern, already beginning to dance even before having entered the party "I'm an Elder and a Saint! I'm a truly important figure! Muahahahaha!"

 

"The price for non-pages is 1 geld."

 

Wyvern suddenly stops dancing and his grin fades to a frown. He quickly takes out the party invitation he had found and reads it back over, finding the small print about non-pages...

 

'1 GELD?!!! That's ridiculously high!!! Of course, if I would have set up the party, the prices would be far higher... but that's no excuse!!!"

 

"I'm sorry Mr. Wyvern..." says the guard frowning "the rules are the rules..."

 

"Hmph!" grunts a dismayed Wyvern, turning and heading back to his Chevy. Much to Nyyark's sorrow, the tap dancing men in white suites pack back up the red carpet and head out the door along with him. The trumpets outside play the depressing, low key tune of "Taps" as they exit... Nyyark proceeds to bang his head on the wall for charging non-pages to come...

 

Two hours later...

 

Much to the surprise of the security of the party, a long black limo pulls up in front of Nythtrydal. The guards jaws drop open as out of the limo walks none other then Jimmy Page, the famous guitar player, along with Wyvern wearing the same corny disco outfit. The two of them walk up to the front doors...

 

"G-greetings!" manages one of the guards ecstaticly, quickly whipping out an autograph book "I'd love to accept you for free, but the price is one geld..."

 

"Not so..." says Jimmy Page while strumming his guitar "I am a Page. Jimmy Page."

 

One guard looks to another guard, then they both smile and nod, agreeing to let him in. The guards then turn to the Saint of Parties and ask:

 

"Mr. Wyvern sir... I thought you were disgruntled by the prices before? Are you willing to pay the full one geld price?"

 

"No!" exclaims Wyv grinning "But you're forgetting something! Since I give titles to Initiates of the Pen, that makes me the Title Page!"

 

The guards consider this for a moment, and then grin and agree to let Wyvern in as well... On his way in, Wyvern hands the guards several index pages as a tip...

 

"Hey Jimmy..." murmers Wyv "Lets go see if we can turn this party ON!"

 

"Hold on Wyv..." says Jimmy, feeling a rumbling in his pocket "I'm being paged..."

[Guest Valdar and Astralis]

". . .Lets go see if we can turn this party ON!"

No sooner had the words escaped Wyvren's mouth, when-

WHAM

"what the-?" the guard exclaimed, reaching for his bang-bang stick in alarm.

WHAM

 

The lights went out, and a very intoxicated girrafe raised it's head off the bar (no mean task, that). There was total silence, as the lights went off and the Macarena flattered, and stopped.

 

"Damm pagers" Jimmy grumbled, still fumbling at his belt for the dammed thing.

 

A monsterous tentacle shot out from the darkness without warning, followed by a dozen more, half of which winded their way around the now-very-alarmed Jimmy page while the other half proceeded to tear the clothes off his back.

 

One of the guards panicked, and began firing his bang-bang stick in panic wildly, narrowly missing the Title page.

 

Jimmy Page vanished screaming into the darkness-which was abruptly cut off a few moments later.

 

*

Silence(the guard finnaly ran out of bang-bang's, and ran off screaming instead)

*

 

Slowly, a huge shape manifested itself out of the darkness, tentalced, and bobulous. On closer inspection, it was a plant, an extremeley oversized waterlily-levithating several feet above the ground.

 

The thing then proceeded to land with another resounding WHAM not ten feet from the door.

 

The rest of the guards fled.

Another tentacle shot out, this time holding a peice of parchment.

 

Due to unforseen problems in the Astral gate, I will NOT be able to attend the page party, as sponsored by Nyyark. Accept in my stead, one of my guardians, Waterlily.

 

Please excuse it if it eats one or two people

 

Regards, Valdar.

 

ps: Wyvren, what ARE these orange-squishy bug things? they're trying to kill me again.

[Wyvern]

An enormous scream arises from the audience as the crowds of party-goers decide to make backing themselves up against the walls opposite of the terrifying plant an essential priority. Wyvern stutters and jitters in his disco suite while reading Valdar's note, and is shoved to the side by a horrified Himfemme and jostled by a crazed Archmage that seems to be desperatly trying to remember the incantation to his light spell. Nyyark gawps at the rather morbid turn in events, but has little time to react as he is run over by a screaming mob of party people, including Orklan, Timeshift, and what would appear to be several shady men dressed as crows...

 

From the mass of confusion in the audience, a party goer weilding an electric guitar and wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt jumps directly in front of the enormous waterlily and raises his guitar high in the air. Practicaly foaming at the mouth, he screams:

 

"You ate Page!!! Die, punk!!!"

 

With that, the Zeppelin fan rushes at the enormous plant... and is promptly swatted to the side by an enormous tenticle...

 

Noticing that it apparently hadn't made the best first impression on the audience, the waterlily plant attempts to be a bit more sociable... It extends a huge tenticle and grabs a lady in the audience, pulls her screaming form forward, and proceeds to plant pollen all over her horrified visage. Apparently, this isn't very popular with the audience either, and they begin chucking household objects at it...

 

"Not that!!!" cries Nyyark, noticing Cioden lifting a priceless ming vase and hurdling it at the waterlily. Nyyark doesn't even have time to scream as a tenticle blocks the projectile in mid flight and shatters it's beautifull frame into a million pieces...

 

Taking note of the chaos of the situation, Wyvern decides that it's his responsibility as Patron of Parties to bring the chaos of the party to order... Wait, scratch that... To bring the state of chaos of the party to an even more chaotic state, and host some mud wrestling while he was at it! Yes... that sounded better...

 

Quickly tearing off a piece of Himfemme's outfit and using it as a makeshift bandanna, Wyvern wips out his Endless Decanter, uncorks it with his teeth, and rushes at the waterlily 'Rambo' style. He dodges flailing tenticles, kitchen utensils, and a particularly drunk looking giraffe... Finally, Wyv manages to reach his destination: the very base of the waterlily. Without the slightest hesitation, the Saint of Parties rapidly wips out a gardening can and some fertilizer. The crowd watches in awe as Wyv fills the gardening can with booze from the Decanter, and proceeds to water the gigantic plant. After having performed this procedure a numerous times, the waterlily begins feeling a wee bit... unsober...

 

Suddenly, the crowd gapes in amazement as the waterlily lifts it's tenticles in the air and begins spraying different colored pollens all over the room, which act as a makeshift confetti. The crowds cheer as this occurs, and suddenly the electricity goes back on and the music starts back up again. Wyvern gasps as he lies at the base of the plant, catching his breath and grinning that his plan had succeeded.

 

Now... to get to that mud wrestling competition...

[Guest Lord Seth Exodus]

With the Waterlily guardian beast incompassitated, the guests get back into the groove of the party. Pages continue to fill the room, as more and more guests arrive. Wyvern makes his way to his feet, and Nyyark stoops over the shards of the once priceless ming vase; now newly priced at about a $1.12, glue included.

 

Suddenly one of the larger windows are explode in a hail of glass shards. In calmly steps Seth Exodus, dressed in a white dinner jacket and bow-tie; looking uncanningly like James Bond. He nonchalantly adjusts his tie, and looks about at the astonished faces. With a grin on his lips he says, in a voice akin to that of Sean Connery: "Sorry, they wouldn't let me in at the door. They said Pages only, so I came back dressed as a piece of loose-leaf."*rimshot* The party goers all stand in silence, as the chirp of crickets emminate from somewhere in the back. "Right, but seriously, SMASHING party, Nyyark," he says with a wink, turning to the exassperated host. *another rimshot, and more silence*

 

Seth walks over to bar and, with a quick glance at the soggy giraffe, motions to the barkeep. "Martini, shaken, stirred, and slapped around a little." *yet another rimshot*

 

"I'm gonna kill that drummer!" shrieks a frusterated looking Wyvern, as he searches the crowd for Seth's ellusive rythmn section.

 

"Well carry on," says Seth with a wave of his hand at the others. The music starts and the partiers resume their dancing and what not.

 

Turning back to the bar Seth sips at his glass. Behind him a bald man with a long scar down his left eye stroking a white cat steps up behind him. "So, Mr.Bond, we meet again."

 

"Hmm? No, I'm sorry, you have me mistaken for someother dashingly handsom, quick witted, and talented guy."

 

"No, I think not, Mr.Bond," exclaims the man, eyeing Seth sharply. "You will come with us, we must have a word with you." The bald man snapps his fingers, and turns to leave.

 

"Look here! I told you, you have the wrong gu..." Seth stops short as he turns to face a stumpy chinese man in a bowler hat, and a seven foot man with an ironsmith for a dentist. "Gentlemen," Seth says nervously, adjusting his tie again." Surely you realise that there has been some mistake." The two men, without a word hoist Seth up by each arm, and carry him for the door. "Nyyark! Help! Tell them who I am!"

 

"Sorry that you had to get so CARRIED AWAY, Seth!" *rimshot* Nyaark says bursting into laughter.

 

With that Seth disappears out the door, still being carted by the two men.

[Nyyark]

" Where is Crow when I need her" thinks Nyyark.

 

He begins looking around the party crowd, and the falling pollen. Nyyark sincerely hopes no one has allergies. Failing to find her, Nyyark moves around the dancing Parasol, and finds a crow.

"Excuse me do you kno-, hey haven't seen you before. Are you new here?" he asks.

The crow wrapped in black cloth blinks.

 

*THUD*

 

Through a haze of pain Nyyark wakes up to the harsh white glare of his laundry room's light. As his vision clears he is able to make out two dark ninja-like figures as they leap away. Nyyark blinks twice and ignores the headache pounding from the back of his head. The room is bare, except for his Washtub, cloth-lines, and some rope. He checks his limbs, and finds that both arms and legs are bound. He looks again at the pile of rope, hoping to find what it was cut with. The rope has a beak sticking out of it, as well as two closed

 

"Crow!" he exclaims.

 

A muffled Caw comes from the ropes. Thinking quickly, Nyyark rolls so that his stomach is on the ground. Carefully he squirms so that the dagger in his crow-cloak falls out. He then rolls again to trim the rope binding his hands.

"Oww!" he exclaims, as the blade cuts through the last of the ropes, and the back of his hand. Quickly he finishes freeing his legs, and then turns to Crow.

 

He cuts her ropes more carefully, not slicing a feather.

 

"CawKa" says Crow, with murder in her eyes.

 

"Now Crow, not all the Dojo Ninja Dance Club Members are bad, at least they weren't at one point" Sooths Nyyark.

 

Crow's Murder-Eyes soften, but not extremely

 

"Kaaw" She says.

 

"Yeah, we'll get them Crow, we'll get HIM"